- Post starter
- #13
Thanks to all of you for your comments and encouragement.
We talked a little yesterday about some of his feelings, and how he pushes me away/shuts me out. He realized long ago that he was doing it, and he apologized. I suppose that was progress. Unfortunately, we were making such progress with talking that we ended up stumbling into some of our financial troubles and his inability to responsible. I tried to tell him about how I had been walking on eggshells around him when sensitive subjects come up and that I shouldn't be doing that. It didn't go over so well. He just said that it was about him, and not me. I know that, but shouldn't a like be drawn somewhere? I guess I am going to have to bide my time, and wait for some of the therapy to take effect.
C.Curry---
We sound a lot alike. I started dating my husband after he became a cop. He says that all cops have a light form of PTSD due to the extreme circumstances that they are always in. I guess it would be the same with soldiers. I don't know how he was before he became a cop...he said that a lot of people stop talking to him because he changed after becoming "the job." The six months preceeding his triggering event were fantastic. He was the first guy to really "get me" and not try to force me to be someone I wasn't. He was always so encouraging, which was something I was not used to as my last relationship had been anything but that. But now, and especially after we got married, it seems that everything he loved about me only annoys him. He no longer likes the fact that I am independent and have a take-charge attitude. He's rarely encouraging...maybe on a "clear" day. I guess I don't know what to expect once he gets treatment. I've just seen day and night with him...there's been no in between.
Johnnyboy--
I think you are right. He had rejection and abandonment issues before any of this reared its ugly head. I think the current circumstances have been the vehicle to how he feels now. Unfortunately, I also have rejection and abandonment issues as well, so I think a lot of the time, we just play off of each other in a negative way. Like when he shuts me out...it just brings up my issues. I have been trying to think of his behavior as a symptom of the PTSD...it helps when I remember this, but occasionally my despair gets the best of me.
We talked a little yesterday about some of his feelings, and how he pushes me away/shuts me out. He realized long ago that he was doing it, and he apologized. I suppose that was progress. Unfortunately, we were making such progress with talking that we ended up stumbling into some of our financial troubles and his inability to responsible. I tried to tell him about how I had been walking on eggshells around him when sensitive subjects come up and that I shouldn't be doing that. It didn't go over so well. He just said that it was about him, and not me. I know that, but shouldn't a like be drawn somewhere? I guess I am going to have to bide my time, and wait for some of the therapy to take effect.
C.Curry---
We sound a lot alike. I started dating my husband after he became a cop. He says that all cops have a light form of PTSD due to the extreme circumstances that they are always in. I guess it would be the same with soldiers. I don't know how he was before he became a cop...he said that a lot of people stop talking to him because he changed after becoming "the job." The six months preceeding his triggering event were fantastic. He was the first guy to really "get me" and not try to force me to be someone I wasn't. He was always so encouraging, which was something I was not used to as my last relationship had been anything but that. But now, and especially after we got married, it seems that everything he loved about me only annoys him. He no longer likes the fact that I am independent and have a take-charge attitude. He's rarely encouraging...maybe on a "clear" day. I guess I don't know what to expect once he gets treatment. I've just seen day and night with him...there's been no in between.
Johnnyboy--
I think you are right. He had rejection and abandonment issues before any of this reared its ugly head. I think the current circumstances have been the vehicle to how he feels now. Unfortunately, I also have rejection and abandonment issues as well, so I think a lot of the time, we just play off of each other in a negative way. Like when he shuts me out...it just brings up my issues. I have been trying to think of his behavior as a symptom of the PTSD...it helps when I remember this, but occasionally my despair gets the best of me.
