New Medication Is So Good I Feel Like I Don't Need Therapy Anymore...but I Know I Do!

[fly away home]

Just wondering if other people have found the same thing? None of the anti depressants worked for me so now I'm on twice daily xanax and for the first time in my life I have experienced an entire day without anxiety. I never knew how debilitating it was, it seems so normal to have fear charing through me.

The problem is that I feel so free and at peace that I don't really want to keep going to therapy and look at the bad stuff. Its so much nicer to be able to ignore all that and get on with living.

The reason for going on the medication was so I was stable enough to deal with my past. Has anyone else found this? Does it change the way you work though things? Do you think it could be too much of a good thing? Should there be some worry so it forces you to look deeper and work on yourself. I feel like I'm cheating...and it feels good. Ooooh dear I know I can't fool myself but how can I work through my problems with my therapist when I'd rather chat about the weather???

 

[Laurajayne27]

I felt like this whilst taking anti-depressant in January I felt almost happy and anxiety free. I was also taking beta-blockers so and physical symptoms had disappeared too. I was a different person. I too thought that therapy was no longer workable as I didn't want to talk about the past because I felt good. At least for a while, then I personally felt like I couldn't express sadness in anyway like I had a blockage because of the anti-depressants. It created other problems for me. All this pent up emotional came out in a tidal wave, I was devastated I thought I had found the solution. But it was short lived. I won't take medication now of any form. If you can express both good an bad emotions then I say your doing ok but there has to be an outlet for anger, sorrow, fear, shame take good care of yourself

 

[fly away home]

Hmmm so true about needing to express emotions. I have had huge trouble expressing any form of emotion for years especially anger and sadness, I can't cry. But now its like I don't even feel the need to express anything, like the feeling has gone and I'm totally fine. I know its early days and yes I am waiting fir the crash you described, this feels very un real and it can't possibly last can it? I've wondered if perhaps I should not take the xanax on the days I go to therapy so I can be my usual self and feel even if I can't express.

 

[Laurajayne27]

I wouldn't advise skipping doses as the drugs don't work like that they stay in your system for weeks when you stop.

I'm no psychologist but if your saying That you have difficulty expressing your emotions without medication but are experiencing servere anxiety. Then it sounds like to me that your anxiety is there because you can't express your underlying depth of feelings. I have been in a similar place and it took so much work to face the pain and release the emotion head on. Everyone is different maybe your not ready to do this yet. Maybe I'm completely off track.

 

[franciemarnie]

Xanax is taking away your symptoms and can only work short term. It increases a neurotransmitter in your brain that blocks anxiety. Your natural production of that goes down then so when you stop taking it, your anxiety will come back at higher levels.

Also if people take it every day, they develop a tolerance to the initial dose pretty quickly and then they need more. That's how people become addicted and they need to withdraw under medical supervision, usually .25 less in dosage every two weeks.

It is nice short term when pain is debilitating, but is no permanent solution because the original wound remains untouched.

 

[DMerish]

Hi Flyaway,

I'm happy to hear you're getting some relief from symptoms. I started an anti-depressant about a month ago (Zoloff), and thankfully it's been working pretty well for me - I identify with you and that feeling of hey, why do therapy now, I'm feeling pretty decent.

Once somebody finds something that works, I think there's a fine line with dosage. For me, 50mg Zoloff in the a.m. and 25 mid-afternoon seems to the trick. 75mg at once is too much - I'll feel a bit more happy and numb, but also agitated and that's confusing. I sometimes one might need a bit of a break from processing/working on trauma. Perhaps you can allow yourself to relax and feel good, then tweak the dosage a bit downward to where you're able to be more in touch with all your emotions?

 

[arfie]

Yes, I have had this reaction to several medications. Some of them are still legal.

I have wondered if the willingness to keep working on the root problem is the essential diff between medication and addiction. Most of the drugs our governments have declared war on started out as the latest, greatest medication. Whatever that whatever, I believe meds are an assist, not a solution in themselves. Just my personal belief.

 

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

They can be an amazing assist.

My wife expresses an unpleasantly deadened mood when she has Xanax dose. Like yes she doesn't feel the inhibition but she has no excitement or affect for others anymore either. It kind of stones her.

I am in kind of a horribly deadened state to begin with, and now that I properly attribute this to PTSD I am starting to wonder how & what medication could be useful to me

 

[anthony]

Medication is a short-term relief, as your body will soon become used to it and produce further symptoms, thus resulting in you having to increase the dose, increase, increase, until you reach maximum... then you're screwed. Therapy is the longevity solution so you either don't need medication, which comes with many health effects, OR, you only need very low doses to counter minimal residual symptoms after therapy, whilst awaiting time to assist in symptom reduction or to purely help with daily stressors encountered.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think this sort of phenomenon can happen when we're feeling good in general, not necessarily in conjunction with meds.

Last week I had the best string of 4 days that I'd had in YEARS. I actually forgot what it feels like to be "normal"! I was terrified that it was merely the eye of the hurricane. Unfortunately it didn't last and I cycled down again.

Not being pessimistic, but I think it is in our best interest to remember that we have an "incurable" disorder that requires lifetime management (aside from just meds). If we lose sight of the fact that we need a higher level of personal care than most, we put ourselves at risk of a relapse or increase in symptoms. I've accepted that I have PTSD for life. I am now trying to learn how to live (as opposed to merely survive) with my waxing and waning symptoms.

I resisted returning to therapy because I thought I could be fine by just pushing my issues aside and "living my life". Well, unfortunately it was a bit of denial on my part. I'm no longer dealing with past traumas so much as learning how to improve my life as it is now. Nobody wants to talk about this stuff, but it's a necessary evil of sorts.

 

[fly away home]

It is nice short term when pain is debilitating, but is no permanent solution because the original wound remains untouched.

Oh I am so acutely aware of this and so desperate to deny it. I am also all too aware of the addictive qualities as I have suffered from addictions in the past. I wanted to believe my doctor that having an addiction for a short time to make dealing with my problems more manageable would be acceptable but I can already see it creeping up on me.

I have wondered if the willingness to keep working on the root problem is the essential diff between medication and addiction.

I honestly see this medication as a legal addiction. I am beginning to realise that this does not justify it in any way and wont make stopping any easier.

It kind of stones her.

I feel a little this way.

Off to see my psychologist tomorrow to tell her of the change in meds and also my partner is coming along too for the first time. I know my T is against benzos so I'm wondering what she will say.

Your natural production of that goes down then so when you stop taking it, your anxiety will come back at higher levels.

This petrifies me, and I know its true.

Gosh I feel like I have been so eager to escape the pain that I have walked straight into another addiction. How stupid can I be. I'm feeling really low about this now but at least I'm feeling something!

Thanks everyone for your replies, sounds like you are all saying what my gut was telling me anyway. Apologies for the scattered writing its about where my brain is right now.

 

[franciemarnie]

I don't blame you a bit for liking the break from anxiety. And every once in a while is no big deal. I took a "break" every day for six years with painkillers (and previous to that tranquilizers for a much shorter period - the bottom was faster and meaner with benzos.).

You are not the least bit stupid! We have lived with so much pain for so long, it can be irresistible. It was for me. It is such a major drag though if taken regularly for more than two weeks.

I am so glad if you can side step this one. You sound great.