Sufferer New Member, Survivor Of Sexual Abuse

[Anlee]

Good morning,

I'm really happy to have found this forum. I was diagnosed with PTSD about 9 months ago, but the abuse occured when I was 20... 24 years ago. It's taken me this long to acknowledge that the 'incidents' as I called them was indeed abuse. Because I didn't scream NO when it happened I always thought it was my fault. It's taken many months of therapy to acknowledge that I was manipulated by a much older man into situations that I wanted no part of.

The therapy I'm receiving now is with a doctor specializing in trauma and while it's been painful, horrible, difficult to begin dealing with this, I'm starting to think I many actually get better. I never acknowledged that what happened was abuse until recently and have felt immense guilt and shame when thinking about it. I still feel guilt and shame, and a part of me still thinks it was my fault, but I'm hoping in time, I'll get better.

Is that possible? Do you think I'll ever be able to reconcile this and live a more normal life?

Thanks for reading... it felt good just to write this.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi Anlee and welcome to the forum:) It is nice to meet you. Yes you are on the right path that leads to wholeness and healing, it just takes time. I have been in situations where I blamed myself too. I was too naive, gullible, vulnerable, and desperately needy. Now I blame my abusers who did these things to me. So I tell you that you are innocent and it was'nt your fault.

I hink you will be able to reconcile and live a more normal life as you face and deal with your issues. Hugs if you take them.

 

[intothelight]

Anlee,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. By seeing a trauma therapist, utilizing this site, and most importantly working to get better, you will find that you will improve. Its not easy and sometimes it can feel as though it is getting worse before it gets better, but that is how you know you are dealing with the really hard stuff.

You might also be interested in a sister site: MySexAbuse. You don't need to re-register as there is a single sign on.

Take care and wishing you the best in your healing journey.

Debbie

 

[Anlee]

Thanks very much for the warm welcome :)

 

[Sammy]

Welcome to the forum. Yes, it is possible to feel better and no, it was definitely not your fault. Search through the site - there is a wealth of information and experience here that is priceless. :)