Relationship New N Need Support

[lovmypoms74]

Hello Everyone, I have been reading this forum for about 2 weeks now and finally got the courage to join and tell my story. I'm not a very good writer but I will try my best...

I met my bf 3 months ago. he suffers from combat PTSD. He warned me that this would not be easy but I took my chances with him and now I love him. I feel like I'm on a emotional roller coaster most of the time. The only time he shows any type of emotion toward me is when he's drunk.. He says that its because of his Adderall that he takes for social anxiety disorder. I can understand that but he doesn't hardly even look at me when he's not drinking, and when we hug goodbye its emotionless.. but when he's drinking its a whole different story, he tells me that he loves me and wants to marry me. I understand that he cant be emotional while on the meds but sometimes he is so closed off that I think its me!, and when I try to tell him how I feel he gets really mad and says that I don't understand him and he wants to break up. Then the next day he acts like everything is fine and we don't speak of what happened the night before.. I want to be there for him, he tells me he needs me, but I need him as well.

Is he that wrapped up in himself that he cant see my side of things? or is he just a very selfish person? I have a lot more to tell but I just wanted to get my feet wet..

Thanks for reading

 

[Springer80]

Hi lovmypoms,
Welcome to the forum....:) In a good way what your describing sounds pretty standard so your situation is normal for the circumstances. I'm a sufferer though and female so my insight won't be what you need. Try the supporters side of hings through the forum tab.

All I can say is that I'm not a selfish person quite the opposite actually but the condition messes with your ability to behave how you feel. In a way if he is just as distressed by the roller-coaster then it's probably because he cares and is upset by how his ptsd is running/ruining what he wants to be able to do.

Good luck,....this stuff is not quickly fixed...it can take years.

 

[lovmypoms74]

thank you! I dont want to end things with him. Even when he tries I tell him that im not going anywhere. I want him to be able to trust me. Its just hard, like when I want to see him and he makes excuses as to why he cant, I feel like he just doesnt like me. I am not a strong person and have a lot of issues of my own (panic disorder, insecurities and so on) so I always feel like its me, something I said, or did, or did I not look pretty enough that day for him! I know its nuts but this is what goes on in my head! Right now im letting his exsistance consume me. I am a very insecure person and this just makes it worse.. am I posting in the right place??

 

[amethist]

Hi you are posting in the right place, and doing very well too.

Some sufferers struggle with their own emotions, so also struggle to show it too. They can struggle with relationships in any shape or form.

Please don't feel you are doing anything wrong at all, this could all be his PTSD that is causing the issues. in the end it is up to you whether you can keep going like this.

It can be really hard to try and understand how all of this can effect him, but the best you can do for now is read, learn and ask questions.

Drinking is not a good idea for sufferers, as this can cause other problems on top of the medication.

Take good care of yourself, and try not to depend on him so much if you can.