Serendipity84
New Here
Hey,
New to this site but read loads of posts on the forum and now joined.
I met a guy around 8 years ago and we've kept in touch on and off. He got back in touch in the summer and basically proclaimed he'd liked me all these years and now felt he could say so. Since last summer 2016 we've been seeing each other and things were going great.
He's a firefighter/EMT for about 16 years now and although opens up slightly, mainly keeps me away from his "demons" and it's very much on his terms when he speaks and I completely respect this. I've been through a lot myself and am now a single parent to a 5 year old. I always tell him that I'm there any time and I can handle it if he needs to vent or talk, I'm not just going to bail on him. I've always felt that it's hard for him to trust in my words though.
Anyway, he has alluded to ptsd/depression in not so many words and I've read a lot to try and be there fully for him. Emotions wise, it's always been on his terms and he seems to be fine expressing but can sometimes recoil when I do although by simply ignoring things not by being mean or actively saying anything negative. I found this SO confusing for a while. I do know he is overwhelmed easily and often leaves decisions to me (where we eat, what we do etc. but he's happy with that and I don't mind). He's met my child with no pressure and they get on great.
Things recently got a bit more serious between us and I told him that I had fallen for him. He went on shut down for 2 days and then simply said I'm sorry I freaked out on you you don't deserve that. Since then conversation had been strange (we're long distance at the minute) and he's twice more apologised for freaking and also said he's sorry he "stresses me out". He's now altogether shut me out for the last couple weeks. It alternates between completely ignoring me and not reading messages to then reading them but not replying. He's actively active on social media and I suspect it's just me he's isolating. He's a great guy and I know that it won't be easy. I'm just wondering if this is "normal" and I wonder how others have dealt with these difficult periods? I'm trying to stay consisent but give him space and also show I won't just "give up". Do you do this to protect us too whilst you're figuring stuff out? What can we do as supporters? Thanks so much in advance!
New to this site but read loads of posts on the forum and now joined.
I met a guy around 8 years ago and we've kept in touch on and off. He got back in touch in the summer and basically proclaimed he'd liked me all these years and now felt he could say so. Since last summer 2016 we've been seeing each other and things were going great.
He's a firefighter/EMT for about 16 years now and although opens up slightly, mainly keeps me away from his "demons" and it's very much on his terms when he speaks and I completely respect this. I've been through a lot myself and am now a single parent to a 5 year old. I always tell him that I'm there any time and I can handle it if he needs to vent or talk, I'm not just going to bail on him. I've always felt that it's hard for him to trust in my words though.
Anyway, he has alluded to ptsd/depression in not so many words and I've read a lot to try and be there fully for him. Emotions wise, it's always been on his terms and he seems to be fine expressing but can sometimes recoil when I do although by simply ignoring things not by being mean or actively saying anything negative. I found this SO confusing for a while. I do know he is overwhelmed easily and often leaves decisions to me (where we eat, what we do etc. but he's happy with that and I don't mind). He's met my child with no pressure and they get on great.
Things recently got a bit more serious between us and I told him that I had fallen for him. He went on shut down for 2 days and then simply said I'm sorry I freaked out on you you don't deserve that. Since then conversation had been strange (we're long distance at the minute) and he's twice more apologised for freaking and also said he's sorry he "stresses me out". He's now altogether shut me out for the last couple weeks. It alternates between completely ignoring me and not reading messages to then reading them but not replying. He's actively active on social media and I suspect it's just me he's isolating. He's a great guy and I know that it won't be easy. I'm just wondering if this is "normal" and I wonder how others have dealt with these difficult periods? I'm trying to stay consisent but give him space and also show I won't just "give up". Do you do this to protect us too whilst you're figuring stuff out? What can we do as supporters? Thanks so much in advance!
