I finally met with my psychiatrist on Saturday and I opened up to him about how I feel so scared in my body and how I feel like I want to be four years old and have a bear to comfort me, I think my voice became childish when I told him and I had to write it down, now I feel like I wished I didn't because i don't want him to look at me like I'm a complete weirdo person who loves cuddly toys and wants to be four instead of 25! He introduced me to my new therapist but I'm very against seeing a therapist I can get very attached and I don't want to depend on her but I trust him with everything! It was really hard for me to open up to him and I'm not sure why I feel this way I don't know if I was sexually abused when I was younger but I feel as though something traumatic happened to me and my way of loving bears is a protection for my body. Maybe he already can tell what the problem is but I just don't want to feel this way when I'm 30 years old. I went to a psychic once and she told me that my dad sexually abused me and that's why I act like a child but I don't know if I believe her because I still live with my dad and he seems very loving and caring! Also how do I bring that's up with my psychiatrist I've been around a lot of hospitals and I'm thinking my trauma could be around there I'm only mentioning this because I lost my memory at 16 and then afterwards the child regression started and it hasn't gone away anyway maybe someone can point me in the right direction I don't know.
Peace and love X
Peace and love X