New therapist rescheduled a lot. would you take it?

[Friday]

It’s just him. We schedule our next appt at the end of session

Just double checking here..

After you’ve already made the appointment, he’s calling to reschedule it?

Or you’re counting scheduling a the end of sessions as rescheduling, since it’s a different day/time?

 

[UnicornSightings]

We made an appt yesterday for next Thursday. He contacted me tonight to change next Thursday. He’s done this before shortly after another session like a day or two later.

I really get that I’m overreacting here cause I’m feeling some intense emotion and it related to my childhood. I saw that. So my reaction isn’t in line with the current situation. I just want a perfect therapist who always treats me right and never messes up. I want all people to be perfect and not mess up. Is that asking for too much?! Lol. I have a really tough time resolving even the most minor things because I’m not used to it. There was no resolution at all growing up and I learned when people mess up, be done with them. That habit hasn’t exactly advanced my communication skills much.

 

[watundah]

We need consistency.
This ain't it.
It seems he cannot commit time to you.
If it's new, I'd let him go assuming you have other options. Imagine how irritating this will be 6 months and 20 changes in, for example. Or tell him you cant take the unpredictability and see if he can change it of you wanna give him a few more weeks.

 

[UnicornSightings]

We need consistency.
This ain't it.
It seems he cannot commit time to you.
If it's new, I'd let him go...

Oh for sure, it can’t go on. The wiser version of myself tells me there are two people in this conversation so I need to talk to him about it. I can’t just expect everyone to know exactly what I think and what offends me. I could sit here all night in my anger and irritation and get even more worked up with “how could he!” “How dare he!” but I gotta make the changes I want to make. When things like this happen it can be a really good way to be direct with what I need and what works for me and what I’m willing to allow and what I won’t. Old me thinks people should know exactly how to treat me without having to say a word but next version me is like “um, you might have to tell them...”. And if it doesn’t improve, then I have to make the decision to put myself first.

Awww. I’m feeling so proud of me right now!! I do still want to gripe about it but I think I’m making problems where there may not necessarily be any if I say something to him.

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm proud of you too! You got this.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I went ahead and wrote him a brief message because he just texted about it and if we could work on the scheduling so I don’t feel like I’m not a priority that would be great. Way easier to be direct when you’re not face to face hahaha!!!

 

[EveHarrington]

I can understand why it’s an issue. It’s hard to trust when you can’t even trust your appointment time to be as scheduled! (Really a simple thing that shouldn’t be changing every week)

 

[Emotional girl]

Well done @UnicornSightings you should be very proud of yourself for getting your point across.Hopefully now he will understand how you are feeling and he will keep the appointments.

 

[James McGregor]

It depends, I know in the UK, a therapists schedule is quite fluid, so there generally has to be some give and take. It's better that he's asking you rather than cancelling at the last minute. So as long as a time can be found between you I'd say it's no big deal and it's quite common

 

[UnicornSightings]

It depends, I know in the UK, a therapists schedule is quite fluid, so there generally has to be...

My last t the appt was every day at the same time. I guess I just find myself comparing, you know? She treated me better than anyone else EVER so she set the standard. But his response was great so we are good again.

I meant like the same day each week not every single day. That’d be intense lol!

 

[mylunareclipse]

The first six months I was seeing my therapists the times and days were really random. They really varied. They could 4 to 14 days in between, with most times being 6-10 days. We would just decide after the session, but sometimes she was really busy so she might email me after to change/or to give me the day.
After six months, she asked me if I wanted to come at the same time and day every week from then on. I was like YES. lol.
What I am trying to say, is that this is not so uncommon. You're a new client/patient so for now you are fitting in between. As you become more regular. Maybe let's say even 3-4 months and it seems like you want to continue long-term I think it would be very understanding to ask to come at same time/ same week.

 

[EveHarrington]

I don’t think it’s common for therapists to schedule, cancel, and reschedule every single week. That’s just annoying.