Welcome to the forum kdlady!!
I'm with you on the working your "butt off!" I just wish it meant that I literally would lose some of the fat on my butt!!!
I hear what you are saying about where this will end...I too, look for that day. Fortunately, I have found that trying to stay in the day (one day at a time/hr at a time/min at a time) allows me to have some quality of life. I personally have a problem with the "control" aspect of life, and have come to realize that, I can only control ME. ie..my choices, my behavior, my spirit.
I personally believe that with our condition, the "real end" will be when I can no longer draw a breath. I've been around the barn and back when it comes to mental health diagnosis. I was finally told I had PTSD about 8 years ago, and didn't start working on the symptoms until about a year ago. Progress, not perfection thank goodness!
Hope you find the answers you are looking for and the companionship as well. Take care of you....
suzie q