Supporter New To This And Don't Know Where To Turn To Address Trust Issues

[exhausted 81]

When he is done with his treatment we are going to counseling. I hope this helps because I dolove him and I have seen the good in him

 

[angel2write]

Ringing in on the trust issue... yes, trust is an issue for everyone with PTSD. It's like, the whole world seems so dangerous and crazy. Nothing holds still. Everyone seems suspicious. I like to joke that paranoia is the "p" in PTSD.

That being said, though, there should be a difference between PTSD trust issues and an abuser beginning to isolate you to control you. I guess one of the things I would ask (having escaped from two abusive relationships myself) is does he seem disgusted by you? Does he treat you with disdain or scorn? In other words, are the trust issues fear-based or anger-based. Does he seem to want to vent his anger by punishing you with control and emotional distance... or are there times he tries to reach out to you, even if it's in a crippled way?

Seems like a lot of people in the early part of PTSD have trouble reaching out at all. Everything hurts, and even being in the room with someone who was breathing would sometimes send me into anxiety and hypervigilance. But at the same time, I would still try to tell my husband that I cared about him. There would be anger and rage and emotions all over the place, but there would be times I'd tell him how much I needed him.

 

[exhausted 81]

He isnt disguseted with me and no disdain. Itseems to be more fear based. We try to talk things out when we get angry but sometims hes so mad he just stops talking to me.

 

[JustBe]

This sounds like the cycle of domestic abuse that I escaped from. Domestic abuse does not have to be physical. Emotional abuse and controlling behavior can be even more insidious and damaging.

OK, I reread everything and maybe I'm overreacting a little, but please be careful not to get lost in his world.

Welcome to the Forum!:D

 

[exhausted 81]

Well we had a talk today and everything seemed like it was headed in the right direction. My girlfriend invited me over, she was having a little get together and my bf told me to go. Well her other girlfriends didn't show up so it was me, her, her brother and two of their male friends. He called me while I was there and asked if "there were a bunch of dudes". I don't lie to him and I told him who was there he got so furious with me told me to do whatever the f I want and hung up. So I felt horrible and I left I called him from our house, so he would know I was home, and proceeded to tell me what if he was at a party with his friends and a bunch if girls.

First I was not at a "party", there were 5 of us and one of the guys was there for my friend, plus I have absolutely no interest to be with anyone else but him. Was I wrong for staying while there were mostly men? Because I feel like I'm in the wrong. Then he was mad because he says I made him look like the bad guy for asking if he wanted me to leave in front of my friend. If I'm wrong someone tell me.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)