Hi everyone,
I'm a 20-something college student suffering PTSD from parental abuse. Don't laugh too hard--my mother tried to run me over with her car, and I spent my 18th birthday in the police station because my mother hit my father and then hit herself in the face so she would get out of any disciplinary charges.
I'm a little anxious. I've been seeing my colleges' psychiatrists pretty much since I started college (I go to a pretty well known liberal arts college, very tiny and in Vermont, one that I am proud to say I go to but am often embarrassed of) and they finally diagnosed me with PTSD my sophomore year of college. I had a really bad experience with one of the psychiatrists (we only have two, that's how small we are), where she refused to believe I was anxious, but instead just depressed, and prescribed me tons and tons of SSRI's that wound up introducing a lovely self injury habit that I've yet to shake. The psychiatrist I see now officially diagnosed me, started me off on klonopin .5's, and then bumped me to Effexor, all the way to 225 until I made the executive decision to bump down to 150 (an accidental decision, to be honest, but one I am really, really thankful I made, because my sex drive was nonexistent on 225mgs). I started seeing a new psychiatrist this summer, seeing as I'm not at school, and she started me on lamictal, which has absolutely changed my life. Have any of you realized that you experience emotion so much more strongly than you ever thought possible after starting a drug like lamictal? I was shocked. By the time I was on 50mgs I was crying openly (something I never did, considering I was hit as a child if I cried), and I realized that anger and panic consumed my life in so many more ways than I had ever feared. It was really world changing to be put on the lamictal, and even at just 100mgs, I can feel the difference in myself.
However, I just saw my "new" psychiatrist today (it's hard, when you live in one state but go to school in another, to really "keep" a psychiatrist), and she decided to put me on 50mgs of seroquel as well as what I'm already on. (She switched me off klonopin and put me on .5's of xanax for panic attacks.)
I am studying neuroscience, and as a result I'm a little paranoid about medications. I've spent the past few hours or so while waiting for my script to be filled researching the drug. I only knew it as a drug to help people cope with bipolar disorder--a college friend of mine was on it and complained of withdrawal symptoms some time back due to our admittedly piss-poor psychological services at our college. (They literally refused to fill her script because it promoted suicidal ideologies, despite the fact she had been on it for three years and was physically addicted.)
I know there are a number of threads about seroquel, but I was just wondering if you guys had any thoughts on seroquel, effexor, xanax versus klonopin, et cetera? I am somewhat new to the "world" of PTSD, considering that I developed it after a particularly stressful 17th year of my life (I am just barely 20 years old now). The flash backs, anxiety, paranoia, et cetera, are very difficult to cope with, and I've found myself absolutely struggling for the right words to describe the experiences I am having, while also trying not to invalidate others experiences (because I know that my PTSD is no where near as violent as a soldier's PSTD...bless all of you who have fought in combat for us...I think of you daily and thank you for your services).
Currently, while I am living "at home" (I consider Vermont to be my home, but alas, where my father lives, I live...), I suffer from sleeplessness, reoccurring nightmares that are sort of "twists" of memories, paranoia, auditory hallucinations (my mother speaking to me, police sirens, etc), forgetfulness of major details of stressful memories, etc. Before I was officially diagnosed (the arrogant child in me has "known" I have PTSD since I was 18), I tended to self medicate with alcohol and marijuana, and I still do on occasion (especially up at school). I'm trying to stop that, however, and also ease myself off the benzos, because ultimately I believe that is what lead my mother to her downfall. While at school, I am much calmer, although I still suffer flash backs, occasional auditory hallucinations, reoccurring nightmares, and of course the ever loved anxiety that comes with the territory. Being home, bluntly put, sucks, though. It's only August 1st and I'm already excited to go back to the old grind. My mother passed away of an overdose in April, so she is no longer a threat, but she is still very much so a threat in my mind.
I suppose I am looking for people who understand what I am going through. My girlfriend is incredibly supportive, to the point where sometimes I feel guilty because I feel I don't deserve her, but she simply can't understand the feelings and thoughts that race through my mind on occasion. I'd also like some advice on how to cope with seroquel; I'm only on 50mgs a night, but after reading a lot about the drug, I'm wary enough that I'm terrified I'll either go stark raving mad (not that I'm not already), or that it'll cure me so well I won't feel the need to call myself crazy anymore (what a concept!).
I also want to ask--what are your opinions on:
Effexor (at 75mgs, 150mgs, 225mgs, and beyond?)
Seroquel (50mgs and beyond)
Klonopin (.5 three times daily and beyond)
Xanax (.5 three times daily and beyond)
Lamictal (100mgs and beyond)
and how they interact and treat post traumatic symptoms? I know each individual is different, but it's nice to hear other voices.
Thanks so much for listening to me ramble, forum. Hope to meet some of you, hear your stories, and get to know you and your opinions.
Much support and care,
Darci
(PS--for reference--what I have been prescribed, and for what reason:
Paxil, unknown dose; did nothing
Zoloft, unknown dose; did nothing
Prozac, unknown dose, did nothing
Lexapro, unknown dose, caused me to start self injuring
Klonopin, .5, first 1 times daily then three times daily, helped with overall anxiety but not panic attacks
Effexor, first 37.5, all the way to 225 until I made the personal decision to go down to 150, much happier at 150 than I was at 225, have a sex drive and a conscious and feel more like a person, it has helped with anxiety and paranoia)
Lamictal, 100, gave me back my feelings,
Xanax, .5, three times daily, helps with panic attacks but not with overall anxiety)
I'm a 20-something college student suffering PTSD from parental abuse. Don't laugh too hard--my mother tried to run me over with her car, and I spent my 18th birthday in the police station because my mother hit my father and then hit herself in the face so she would get out of any disciplinary charges.
I'm a little anxious. I've been seeing my colleges' psychiatrists pretty much since I started college (I go to a pretty well known liberal arts college, very tiny and in Vermont, one that I am proud to say I go to but am often embarrassed of) and they finally diagnosed me with PTSD my sophomore year of college. I had a really bad experience with one of the psychiatrists (we only have two, that's how small we are), where she refused to believe I was anxious, but instead just depressed, and prescribed me tons and tons of SSRI's that wound up introducing a lovely self injury habit that I've yet to shake. The psychiatrist I see now officially diagnosed me, started me off on klonopin .5's, and then bumped me to Effexor, all the way to 225 until I made the executive decision to bump down to 150 (an accidental decision, to be honest, but one I am really, really thankful I made, because my sex drive was nonexistent on 225mgs). I started seeing a new psychiatrist this summer, seeing as I'm not at school, and she started me on lamictal, which has absolutely changed my life. Have any of you realized that you experience emotion so much more strongly than you ever thought possible after starting a drug like lamictal? I was shocked. By the time I was on 50mgs I was crying openly (something I never did, considering I was hit as a child if I cried), and I realized that anger and panic consumed my life in so many more ways than I had ever feared. It was really world changing to be put on the lamictal, and even at just 100mgs, I can feel the difference in myself.
However, I just saw my "new" psychiatrist today (it's hard, when you live in one state but go to school in another, to really "keep" a psychiatrist), and she decided to put me on 50mgs of seroquel as well as what I'm already on. (She switched me off klonopin and put me on .5's of xanax for panic attacks.)
I am studying neuroscience, and as a result I'm a little paranoid about medications. I've spent the past few hours or so while waiting for my script to be filled researching the drug. I only knew it as a drug to help people cope with bipolar disorder--a college friend of mine was on it and complained of withdrawal symptoms some time back due to our admittedly piss-poor psychological services at our college. (They literally refused to fill her script because it promoted suicidal ideologies, despite the fact she had been on it for three years and was physically addicted.)
I know there are a number of threads about seroquel, but I was just wondering if you guys had any thoughts on seroquel, effexor, xanax versus klonopin, et cetera? I am somewhat new to the "world" of PTSD, considering that I developed it after a particularly stressful 17th year of my life (I am just barely 20 years old now). The flash backs, anxiety, paranoia, et cetera, are very difficult to cope with, and I've found myself absolutely struggling for the right words to describe the experiences I am having, while also trying not to invalidate others experiences (because I know that my PTSD is no where near as violent as a soldier's PSTD...bless all of you who have fought in combat for us...I think of you daily and thank you for your services).
Currently, while I am living "at home" (I consider Vermont to be my home, but alas, where my father lives, I live...), I suffer from sleeplessness, reoccurring nightmares that are sort of "twists" of memories, paranoia, auditory hallucinations (my mother speaking to me, police sirens, etc), forgetfulness of major details of stressful memories, etc. Before I was officially diagnosed (the arrogant child in me has "known" I have PTSD since I was 18), I tended to self medicate with alcohol and marijuana, and I still do on occasion (especially up at school). I'm trying to stop that, however, and also ease myself off the benzos, because ultimately I believe that is what lead my mother to her downfall. While at school, I am much calmer, although I still suffer flash backs, occasional auditory hallucinations, reoccurring nightmares, and of course the ever loved anxiety that comes with the territory. Being home, bluntly put, sucks, though. It's only August 1st and I'm already excited to go back to the old grind. My mother passed away of an overdose in April, so she is no longer a threat, but she is still very much so a threat in my mind.
I suppose I am looking for people who understand what I am going through. My girlfriend is incredibly supportive, to the point where sometimes I feel guilty because I feel I don't deserve her, but she simply can't understand the feelings and thoughts that race through my mind on occasion. I'd also like some advice on how to cope with seroquel; I'm only on 50mgs a night, but after reading a lot about the drug, I'm wary enough that I'm terrified I'll either go stark raving mad (not that I'm not already), or that it'll cure me so well I won't feel the need to call myself crazy anymore (what a concept!).
I also want to ask--what are your opinions on:
Effexor (at 75mgs, 150mgs, 225mgs, and beyond?)
Seroquel (50mgs and beyond)
Klonopin (.5 three times daily and beyond)
Xanax (.5 three times daily and beyond)
Lamictal (100mgs and beyond)
and how they interact and treat post traumatic symptoms? I know each individual is different, but it's nice to hear other voices.
Thanks so much for listening to me ramble, forum. Hope to meet some of you, hear your stories, and get to know you and your opinions.
Much support and care,
Darci
(PS--for reference--what I have been prescribed, and for what reason:
Paxil, unknown dose; did nothing
Zoloft, unknown dose; did nothing
Prozac, unknown dose, did nothing
Lexapro, unknown dose, caused me to start self injuring
Klonopin, .5, first 1 times daily then three times daily, helped with overall anxiety but not panic attacks
Effexor, first 37.5, all the way to 225 until I made the personal decision to go down to 150, much happier at 150 than I was at 225, have a sex drive and a conscious and feel more like a person, it has helped with anxiety and paranoia)
Lamictal, 100, gave me back my feelings,
Xanax, .5, three times daily, helps with panic attacks but not with overall anxiety)
