New Year Eve Is Triggering??

[SeekingAfrica]

This makes no sense, but I am completely triggered today like the whole day. Out of all things that I was worried during December, this was not one of them. And all celebrations I worried about went okay.
But today, I woke completely...off. I don't even know what's wrong but I just feel triggered and anxious without being able to pinpoint why. There is no deadline that I'm late on, no crisis. I wanted a relaxed NY so we are doing movie marathon so that's cool...The only thing annoying is all the fireworks and similar things happening outside of my window. That does tend to be something that bothers me, but I really don't feel like it's that right now. But I am so anxious and depressed at the same time, and in so much mental pain I am starting to feel really sleepy all the time(although I slept 10h last night).
I go between trying to do something nice that would be calming for me, or something that would make me feel better or whatever, I tried doing something useful...but I feel horrible. No idea why. But everything seems just bleak and off and...don't know, I feel like taking a nap, like...Sometimes that happens when something triggers me and I can't think of that memory to a point where my brain shuts down, so I just need to get out of it and I kind go to sleep...that's how it is now and I don't know how to change it, I just feel my whole chest is filled with panic, but I have no idea what it is that started this...

 

[Justmehere]

Could it have been something that happened yesterday? Sometimes I have delayed triggered responses.

To get out of it, perhaps try holding ice or seeking other safe strong sensations that will help your body come out of the sleepy shut down and connect to the here and now, which is relatively safe.

 

[The Albatross]

Though this day has not started the way you'd have liked it too... good on you for acknowledging, "There is no deadline that I'm late on, no crisis. I wanted a relaxed NY so we are doing movie marathon so that's cool...The only thing annoying is all the fireworks and similar things happening outside of my window. That does tend to be something that bothers me, but I really don't feel like it's that right now."

Sometimes, after/when we try to do self soothing or self comforting/nurturing things... all that's left is to wait it out. can you try to affirm that just because things "seem" bleak and off that you've self examined and been unable to identify anything? Sometimes affirming that for myself and reaffirming it as necessary will at least help some. If you want to sleep though, there is nothing wrong with coming through the day with some extra rest either, eh?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Could it have been something that happened yesterday? Sometimes I have delayed triggered responses....

No, not really. Yesterday was fairly insignificant day. In fact I was happy for managing all the last minute things to finish up before today. I had 2 parties one after another this week, which is pretty much enough to make me panic usually...but I had great time at both parties and stayed longer than planned because it was fun...

 

[talon]

This makes no sense, but I am completely triggered today like the whole day. Out of all things th...

Seems like you are in a mind maze you can't understand where you came in and now you want out. Try and focus on the fact there is a way out and that you will find it. Maybe this new year has an anniversary . Something you have forgotten in the cycle of time. Just remember your past can't hurt you. Yesterday is history , tomorrow a mystery all we truly have is today, and today is a gift and that's why we call it the present . Be strong a New year will eventually bring you peace.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Though this day has not started the way you'd have liked it too... good on you for acknowledging,...

I'm trying, but it's not really helping. I tried to do some yoga too, which didn't make me feel quite so calm as usually. But it's really close to my movie marathon start, so I think I'll either sleep a bit or take a bath. I am pretty sure that whatever this is...I'll just have to wait it out and let go of needing to feel some way. It's just a day. And I still feel disconnected and very ungrounded...but I think it's so strong that I can't let myself know what it is. So I'll just try to adjust and yeah, I guess some extra sleep is okay....try to watch movies and distract myself.
I forgot about this but the fireworks are getting worse the later it is, and not knowing when they'll stop isn't helping...

 

[Justmehere]

Maybe your stress cup is full with all these normally overwhelming experiences going well, and filling up your cup in the process.

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Either way, I like your plan to ride out New Year's Eve with a movie marathon! I hope it's relaxing and fun and that you feel more and more present as time goes on!

 

[Deleted member 38644]

Im staying in bed with headphones in my ear. Im also watching movies. I know what you mean about holidays I hope you find a good way for you ..

 

[Teamwork]

Yes totally in the same space. But opposite in that I was up all night but was able to talk to someone this morning online so I could try to ground. Not sure what triggered this either but it's really difficult since no pin point cause is available just intense feeling of avoid this day for some reason