Still on my journey
New Here
I am new to this forum and am happy to have found it. I am 44 years old and have been diagnosed with PTSD, complex trauma, bipolar disorder, eating disorder (starting age 10 and continuing today), anxiety and sleep disorder.
My history includes ongoing sexual abuse from age 7 through 12 (first by a neighbor and then by my gymnastics coach at age 12). Daily psychological abuse by my parents (which still continues in our interactions today, but I am working on that dynamic with my therapist) and sporadic physical abuse by my father and one of my brothers.
I have a history of cutting, alcohol abuse, and other activities that have basically allowed me to numb myself and dissociate for most of my life.
Within the last few years there has been a lot of stress in my life. All 3 of my children have mental health issues. Our oldest started to deteriorate rapidly, to the point where she had to go to a facility. We almost went bankrupt trying to afford this (still trying to climb out of that debt today), and in the middle of that my husband and I incredibly lost our jobs the same day (different companies) and had to go on welfare and food stamps. My son's depression spiraled out of control and he was involuntary committed and put on suicide watch. My husband lost his mother (we were very close) and on the drive to the funeral my son and I were rear-ended by a Mack truck, which sent my son to the hospital (he is OK, but we barely made it to the funeral). The next year, my brother died suddenly from unknown causes (turned out to be HIV-related pneumonia, which he had kept secret due to our family dynamics). I never got complete closure because the last time I saw my brother he was alive, then after that all he was was dust in a box. He was cremated before any of the family could see him. Six months after that my best friend from high school died unexpectedly. I spiraled down into my eating disorder to real with all the stress and came close to ending up dead before my husband got me into treatment. That was two years ago. I was in treatment several months and when I was discharged I began working with my therapist on a daily basis and am doing better but still working.
I hope this wasn't too much information, but I was just so happy to find a forum of people who could understand my situation. I was drawn in by the discussion on tattoos and self harm and found it very interesting.
So thanks for welcoming me, and I look forward to a lot o
My history includes ongoing sexual abuse from age 7 through 12 (first by a neighbor and then by my gymnastics coach at age 12). Daily psychological abuse by my parents (which still continues in our interactions today, but I am working on that dynamic with my therapist) and sporadic physical abuse by my father and one of my brothers.
I have a history of cutting, alcohol abuse, and other activities that have basically allowed me to numb myself and dissociate for most of my life.
Within the last few years there has been a lot of stress in my life. All 3 of my children have mental health issues. Our oldest started to deteriorate rapidly, to the point where she had to go to a facility. We almost went bankrupt trying to afford this (still trying to climb out of that debt today), and in the middle of that my husband and I incredibly lost our jobs the same day (different companies) and had to go on welfare and food stamps. My son's depression spiraled out of control and he was involuntary committed and put on suicide watch. My husband lost his mother (we were very close) and on the drive to the funeral my son and I were rear-ended by a Mack truck, which sent my son to the hospital (he is OK, but we barely made it to the funeral). The next year, my brother died suddenly from unknown causes (turned out to be HIV-related pneumonia, which he had kept secret due to our family dynamics). I never got complete closure because the last time I saw my brother he was alive, then after that all he was was dust in a box. He was cremated before any of the family could see him. Six months after that my best friend from high school died unexpectedly. I spiraled down into my eating disorder to real with all the stress and came close to ending up dead before my husband got me into treatment. That was two years ago. I was in treatment several months and when I was discharged I began working with my therapist on a daily basis and am doing better but still working.
I hope this wasn't too much information, but I was just so happy to find a forum of people who could understand my situation. I was drawn in by the discussion on tattoos and self harm and found it very interesting.
So thanks for welcoming me, and I look forward to a lot o
