News Flash My Brokeness Ruined My Life

[therapybankrupt]

It seems I have blamed everyone else in my life for my not being happy.

 

[discarded]

Does it seem that way, or have you?? There is a difference. I am sure you aware of "we are all responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness", in which case we shouldn't be blaming anyone else. It is of course easier said than done. You didn't cause your PTSD, it resulted from some sort of trauma that was out of your control, therefore if the PTSD is causing you unhappiness then you have every right to blame it on someone else.

I doubt that anyone really chooses to be unhappy, sometimes we just find ourselves in situations that cause us pain or grief that we perceive we have no control over.

I may have missed the intentions of your thread, has someone pointed this out to you???

 

[therapybankrupt]

Thanks discarded.

I was looking for opinions on my statement! I tend to blame myself and I need to wrap my head around the fact that the traumas are not my fault. There for the symptoms of the PTSD that causes me so much pain interferes with the happiness.

I started writing the post and got a call about a death out of town. I actually forgot to finish what I had in mind! Sorry! Thus you know you have PTSD when......

TB

 

[discarded]

Oh that is sad news, certainly won't help your happiness either. My therapist always tells me that it is how we allow others to affect us that is the problem. She didn't quite know what to say when I said, "what happiness is there to gain from finding out my husband is having an affair", surely I can blame him for some of my unhappiness over that.

 

[intothelight]

This is a really good question. For a long time, I kept waiting hoping to get better so I could be "happy" again. But somewhere along the way, for me I figured that happiness wasn't a destination, it was part of the journey.

I made a concerted effort to find "happiness" in my day-to-day existence. I noticed I was happy when I was watching my puppy play; when I tried a new recipe and it turned out good and my family enjoyed it; when I heard a favorite song; when the fresh snow fell and the trees had sparkles on the limbs; etc. I learned to catch myself being happy and then proceeded to do more of the things I enjoyed and to enjoy more things in my day-to-day life.

No, there is nothing happy about some of the traumas I have suffered or in some relationships. Frankly, I've dumped those relationships and the traumas are in the past and the current traumatic events I have no control over. (My daughter and I were both diagnosed with cancer in the past 18 months.) But I have learned to find happiness and to be happier, by living in the present and finding it throughout my day. Don't get me wrong, I still get sad, anxious, fearful, etc. but that is not my state 24/7.

Other things that I do to help is to cut out as many negatives as I have control over. Stay away from the news, listen to music you enjoy, light candles that smell good, treat yourself to a mani/pedi, play with a pet, go for a walk and enjoy nature. Squeeze out as much happiness, joy, peace, laughter, etc. from each moment in the day that you can. At first you have to look for it, but then when you find it, you can find more of it.

This isn't anything a therapist taught me. It came from realizing there are certain things I have no control over and I cannot change. It just something I have learned to do as I didn't want to have any more moments of my life robbed by my past. I can control my perception and I just decided to slow down, notice, and increase the number of things that make me happy throughout the day.

Just my .02.

 

[safenow]

Good .02 ITTL. You are making headway. Trying to be positive can help in more ways than one.