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Hi thanks for the links. I think that is it I have had all the treatment that iapts can give me . I am on the verge of getting further treatment on cmhts . It will be really hard to tell them about the traumas . I used to dissociate but don't now just get really overwhelmed or I can't verbalize them . They seem to want me to verbalize it so they can treat me further. I can't do something that is not possible though. Was thinking about reading it to them if I can . It is a bit of a night mare and I am getting quite anxious about it
 
I think part of evaluating how someone is effected (and to see if they have signs of clinical trauma and dissociation that has to be treated on a more in depth level) is for the evaluator to see the person having a physiological response to trauma cues. Sadly there isn't any comfortable way to do that. I am with you in that my mind just shuts down and I can't. In my opinion your one choice would be to write it down and hopefully reading a bit will be enough for them to get what they need. You can hand them the rest. I know how hard it is to write down.

Try to remember that if you didn't find it extremely difficult then you wouldn't have clinical trauma. That doesn't help you feel better of course. Its just sadly the reality. Part of getting better is about verbalising these things or putting the, into words. Not that I'm walking the talk of course!
 
Thanks for asking @Oasis . I'm being assessed over the next few weeks, then a report will go to "someone" who will decide if I need any further treatment, and if so whether the Trust is able to provide that in house. If they can't, another application for funding will have to be made. So it will be at least a year from the previous T recommending specialist treatment to anything happening. The root of the problem is that they got rid of the expensive, skilled staff to save money.

How did your appointment go?
 
Oh a year is too long but what can you do other than wait or pay which is not acceptable as we have an nhs. I hope your assessment over the next few weeks goes well and something moves for you.
My appointment was very hard I was so anxious there was2 therapists there so I really felt under scrutiny. The thing is iapts only offer short term therapy and I think I am in it for the long term . I don't think e m d r or exposures therapy would be good for me yet too overwhelming so discussed narrative therapy and work on anxiety management . I did not read my traumas to them but my ex therapist read it . She is ringing me on Friday to discuss further . Thanks for your reply before @Sandstone it helped medealwith the frightening g thought of a double therapist meeting. I think they want me to have secondary care but I am not keen . I don't know the system is so complicated sometimes . Take care
 
I was in secondary care psychology for eleven sessions but I remembered early traumas and was then sent to a psychotherapist but I had to stop because I became too unwell to leave the house. I hope that secondary care will help you @Oasis.
 
It sounds as though it went well @Oasis . Just preparing the writing must have been hard, let alone handing it over. How are you feeling now?
If they were talking with you about types of treatment then it sounds as though you have a good chance of getting something useful
I think they want me to have secondary care but I am not keen .

Are you put off by the very idea of it being Secondary? Does it help to think of it as like having a bad knee? Your GP sends you for physio, but the physiotherapist recognises you have a more serious condition and you end up at the local hospital ( secondary care ) to see an orthopaedic surgeon. It is just about the place you go to access that level of specialism, and the support you need and deserve.

Or is it the fear of changing therapists? That is such a gamble isn't it? I've had one spectacularly bad NHS therapist, but two very good NHS psychologists. They, and the ones I've had assessments with, came over as both caring and professional.

I'm not sure I've made complete sense here, I'm very nervous about this morning's SCID-D and my brain is skidding around.
 
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Thank you @C j yes it might be ok I do not trust medical professionals (part of trauma) and the fact you can be sectioned scares and pretty much terrifies me . I will talk on the phone to therapist tomorrow. I have a good deal of social anxiety too. Hope you ok now.

@Sandstone i hope the SCID-D test goes ok(what is that by the way) . I don't think therapists or medical people realize how anxious we get mine takes days to settle . It was so difficult to write it down and to hand it over I was really upset when I left the T room . I also feel a lot of shame .

Thank you for trying to make me feel better about secondary care but hospitals are where the tramas for me took place ! It is complicated!?

The therapist that I have been working with has helped a lot and is good. We have a robust relationship. If she was still willing to work with me it would be good . I will see tomorrow. Take care .
 
Aargh! Sorry. I wish I could carry everyone's story clearly in my head. I can understand now why it would be even more worrying for you.

I honestly believe you are very unlikely to be admitted, and even less likely to be sectioned. To give you a scale of how unlikely, about four years ago the Crisis Team were visiting me. While they were talking to my husband I left the room and took an overdose. I didn't get admitted for that. Policy is to keep everyone at home as much as possible, and there aren't enough beds anywhere.

I do hope you hear good news today.
 
Oh, I want someone who can say "it's alright, I've got this, you can stop now"

Assessment complete, draft of written report due late next week-ish. I didn't ask what the conclusion was, but at one stage I drifted off a bit and when he asked, I found I was thinking that I hoped he was going to say I fitted the profile for someone who was manufacturing it all. He said " No, you don't"

We did talk a great deal about what might work and why, which I think will inform his recommendations. He seemed surprised that my thoughts were so closely matched to what he was likely to suggest - that I needed to work long term, with someone direct but relationship oriented, and that something somatic / sensorimotor might be a good way in. I said I'd identified myself as having a dismissive - avoidant attachment style, he agreed but said he'd wondered whether to tell me that. He talked in the direction of something residential, but I didn't pick up on that.

Whatever diagnostic label he picks, I know I will believe and disbelieve.

I also said, again, that I don't think the NHS will necessarily comply with his recommendations, and that even if they do send me to something that is intended to be long term I don't trust this organisation not to alter that a few months later.

I wish I had a large bag of crisps.

(The SCID-D is Structured Clinical Interview for DSM Dissociative Disorders. It is supposed to be one of the authoritative diagnostic tools.)
 
oh @Sandstone I am so annoyed that we cannot get the treatment that we require or that they make it so difficult. I have DDNOS or should I say I had it, as since working with the T I am not as dissociative any more, sometimes though I wish I could still dissociate because the days are so long when you are having a bad cycle of it.

I think you deserve to get a large bag of crisps and a nice thirst quenching drink!!

I also have disorganised dismissive avoidant attachment style. It was not so much the nhs sectioning me but my parents. I have attempted suicide before too and so they are extremely over protective etc no doubt you get my drift ......

I also hate all the labelling and diagnosis that goes on

Is there any somatic treatment in the UK on the nhs ? I would like to try that as I have a lot of body memories,
 
The therapist rang and I think I am going to try and work with triggers and cbt also anxiety work and staying with it. I don't think it will be with her though, so its like starting all over again isn't it .It will be in the new year some time. I hope you get what you need from this meeting take care.

I think a lot of us would like support but it is just short bursts of intensive therapy with the nhs isn't it
 
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