:hug:
@BrokenButNotDefeated , Welcome!
Night terrors are aweful! I'm sorry that you are suffering from them. Since I lived through them, I have a sense of what you are going through, and I can share the variety of things that worked to free me. (I needed to get to the point that I was so miserable that I was willing to try things out of my comfort zone; then I would try anything that was safe and affordable.)
I know that every person's situation (personality, comfort zones, economics, supports, etc.) are unique. Take your time, as best you can, consistently explore the options until you notice a change. Finding safe circumstances and safe and respectful people with whom to work; these are key.
Since I wanted to be as comfortable as possible
and since I also wanted to explore and release the root causes of my nightmares, I used a variety of useful options at the same time, and explored traditional and unconventional at the same time. Do your recovery your way, it is the only way, as you follow what is seems right for you.
1. I created a network of safe people, spend time with people who are utterly respectful, and found a safe group of people to spend time with.
I found a therapist (it took some time to find one I relaxed with and that was affordable), I started to attend Alanon (many people understand and deal with trauma, I didn't have to talk, and the structure of the group provided safety. I had the option to speak about my problems and find support.).
2. I started to do a body centered meditation , like found in Mindfulness, and Vipassanna- using body awareness and body scanning, meditations. This helped me relax, listen to my body, and connect to a level of peace that I could not find in my sleeping or waking life. (No need to spend money, just search the web. Practice at your own rate, with eyes open or closed, sitting or walking.)
3. I found a safe therapist; someone who let me move at my speed, and who wasn't pushy, and with whom I relaxed. I learned how to speak about, and to feel my feelings, of night night terrors. Since I noticed anxiety after sharing my night terrors, I made sure to connect to a safe person and activity, afterwards.
A. I needed to find two therapists: in my case I found one who like to listen and talk, and then I found a second therapist-that I used occasionally, who helped me express anger and rage-without being re-raumatizing to myself. (As a child, I was never allowed to speak up, or verbally defend myself.)
4. One by one, objectively (as possible) I considered I what skill that I-the person in the dream, needed to be free. Then I found a way in real life to develop that skill.
A. For example, in one layer of my nightmares, I was being strangled-I couldn't breath. So I studied an actor based voice and breathing technique (Linklater) for 2 years. Finally, I had a breakthrough and the nightmares stopped.
B. Another layer of nightmares were about being violated. The only self-defense class that resolved this layer of night terrors was Model Mugging. (Totally worth the cost.)
C. Another layer of nightmares were about being held at the stake or at gunpoint (a childhood trauma during my parents divorce dispute). What resolved these nightmares was taking a handgun safety class; my best friend took it with me to provide some support for me. (Check around for different prices of a 2 day workshop; in my area it varies from $50-$250.)
5. I explored movement of various kinds. I needed a for that allowed me to choose my motions (since as a child I wasn't allowed to move). I ended up learning a form of the Alexander Technique that lets the student choose their actions. It is somewhat similar to Feldenkrais work. I have interest in Authentic Movement, but haven't been able to afford it. I enjoy doing yoga on my own.
6. Getting gentle and deep tissue massage freed up/released layers of depression-feelings stored in my tissues). It was a skill to learn how to relax while having deep tissue work, somewhat like going through childbirth. I found someone who worked with me, at the level I could comfortably allow, so I didn't get traumatized from deep tissue work.
7. I took care to find a psychiatrist who helped me by giving me meds to sleep and to regulate my anxiety and depression. Know that it may take a few tries to find the right meds. Keep kindly being an advocate for yourself, let the doctor know if you are not getting relief. Understand they often will start with the least strong meds and move to the stronger meds, as they look for something that is effective.
8. Over time, I dropped family and other relationships, if people were not consistently kind and respectful.
9. Be creative; play with giving yourself a way to connect to the depth of your pain while you express yourself; I like to write and dance, other people like to draw, make music and sign. Sharing your expression with others can be another step of healing.
10. Even though I didn't believe it at first, I greatly benefited from "grounding" techniques. I used one, where daily for three months, I imagined the earth's energy coming into the souls of my feet. This helped me connect to a neural energy source/the earth, instead of continuing to run off of my 'negatively charged' past experiences.
I just spent 60 seconds each morning and each evening, imagining the earth's energy bubble into the souls of my feet. after 30 days I felt a shift This was an easy an expensive one to start practicing.
10. Know that you will find a way through the night terrors. May seem odd to say, but see the night terrors as a means, to find further healing, and restore wholeness to yourself.
**I so much appreciate your sharing what you are going through. I believe in you and send you healing thoughts. You are not alone. Take good care!
