No Good

[whiteraven]

I'm a writer. Sort of. Well, yes. I am. I've had several things published and have finished my memoir (although I'm working on a rewrite). I'm in the middle of a couple of other manuscripts and have a Master's degree in Creative Writing.

But now, as I pick through my stuff to try to decide what to work on, it all looks and sounds like drivel. Nothing sounds good. The ideas are trite, my own story feels fake, my education feels like it was a waste of time and money, and the thing that has always sustained me emotionally now feels like this huge stupid thing.

I've had this problem before - multiple times - but I'm struggling in so many ways right now. I really, really need the writing to help get me through this.

 

[Casey_03]

The only thing that has helped me in such situations is walking away from the writing for a while. Breaking the routine. Doing something unexpected and spontaneous. Change of scenery, that sort of thing.

 

[whiteraven]

The only thing that has helped me in such situations is walking away from the writing for a while. Bre...

Yes, I try this, repeatedly. It's gotten really bad lately, though, so that even when I come back, everything is crap. :-(

 

[LadyZane]

I'm a writer too and I struggle with this. However, every writers' newsletter and social media feed I read tells me that this is the common feeling of almost all (if not all) writers. The advice that is constantly circulated is that being a writer means pushing through it and writing anyway, even if you're 100% convinced you suck and your work is trash. Sometimes I think the struggle is 96% pushing through the self-criticism and terror and 4% stringing words together, haha. It has to be harder for us folks struggling with mental illness and trauma because that inner voice seems to validate all the negative things we were taught about ourselves! Just don't give up. That's all there is to it.

I saw a meme in my Facebook feed the other day from Writing About Writing: "Sometimes the fear won't go away, so you'll have to do it afraid." It really stuck out to me and I saved it in my phone. Just do it afraid! Readers can't tell whether you did it terrified or sailed through it confidently anyway, can they?

 

[OrganicRobot]

Have you tried taking up a sensory or hand-craft hobby? Gardening, DIY, etc? Any type of mental job will begin to feel like an existentialist crisis if you don't ground yourself to the physical plane in some way. It is possible that writers, and others with more so mental jobs begin to dissociate. I myself have a mental job, and I from my experience grounding hobbies and techniques have helped tremendously.

 

[LadyZane]

Have you tried taking up a sensory or hand-craft hobby? Gardening, DIY, etc? Any type of mental jo...

This is a really interesting point. I used to cook a lot, but now I've been working intensively on my manuscript and have been cooking a lot less to make more time for that. I did just join a community gardening group in my neighborhood, so maybe that will help in this area.

 

[Powder]

Sherman Alexie writes on his website that he reads other people's work at his bookstore "readings" and always catches flack for not reading his own work to his fans.

He says that he wants to perform what inspires him at the time and what helps him keep his creative life going, not just reading his same work over and over. He claims that only one or two of his stories seem "good enough" to even read aloud to him, and he can't keep reading them repeatedly.

He's considered the preeminent Northwestern writer of our times. I think PTSD makes this already too prominent a symptom of creativity so much more profound.

Do you find that leaving the intellect aside and going instead into nature, animals, and the body, such as grounding in cooking or aromas as developing, perhaps, a different side of the human creative experience, "writing through the bones" ala Natalie Goldberg?

Letting writing go as a "work" and focusing on other areas of creative life, music, fine art, nature, travel, and discovering a childlike joy in something is recharging. It's hard to do this with limited health, social, financial, time, or other resources.

 

[Marie Miguel]

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