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No More Guns!

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SGT Bilko

Bronze Member
So my house use to look like the main character from the Punisher's house. I use to have guns stashed everywhere possible for quick and easy access. Now, they are all locked up safe and secure and my Gfriend has the key! Its been very very very rough not having access to a weapon. I'm doing better! (and i always have my knifes.... shhhhh)
 
Congrats!

So my question is 'how are you feeling?' Do you feel really vulnerable and, if so, how are you handling that feeling?

Just curious.
 
Locking up the guns was a great start. So, do you think that it's possible for you to put away the knives??? If you gave up the guns, then there is always the possibility that you can give up the knives too. Think about it....

I would hate to see anyone get hurt, or that you hurt yourself....
 
It must have taken a lot of trust to give her the guns and allow her to lock them up for you. What was the thing that made that possible?...and what will it take to hand over those knives?
 
Good for you in doing this. Keep going forward but put the knives away they are not healthy to have about when you are having a bad day. hope you are managing to cut the drink out too.

But you really need to watch the egg whisk 2quilt. They are a menace when let out on their own. lol

Good luck and stay calm and strong

Amethist
 
That is good to hear mate... but hand over the knives also please. The one person you are likely to injure or kill is your girlfriend...
 
Well done SGT Bilko. I agree that the knives should go too as what Anthony says is true...it is often the people closest to us which get hurt the most.
 
Was wondering how you were doing these days Sarge. Happy to come here and see a post by you in the successes section of the forum.

Congrats on taking some brave steps and challenging changes in your life. We've all got our security blankets, some more consequential than others. My wife has been trying to get me to stop wearing my damned winter hat I've taken to, especially now that it's getting into the 70's and 80's here (forget what that means for all you Centigrader's out there! :crazy:).

Got my fingers crossed for you and your continued progress!
 
Hi SGT Bilko

Congrats on making this progress in your life, I know it must be hard for you. I know it's hard for my boyfriend not to have his gun.

Interesting topic, this was a major conversation I had with my BF the other night when he brought his gun home from work. I'm not real comfortable having a gun in the house, mostly as a result of some past issues we've had.

He feels it's necessary to have his gun at all times, but it frightens me when they are in the house. We are trying to come up with a compromise to the situation and I like what you posted about the locker and your girl friend having the key. That might actually work for me. I'd rather he left the gun at the department, but he is really resistant to that. It's a tough compromise.

Wishing you all the best in your ongoing progress.

Shoka
 
Hey Sarge,

I'm new to this forum,but certainly not to PTSD...we're very old friends.I was raised by my grandfather,who was a gunsmith and we had no pictures on our walls,we had gun racks...floor -to-ceiling, 100's and 100's of guns on every single available space.
I learned to shoot around the time I learned to walk...dude,they're in my DNA I think.

I won't bore you w/ the details,but I wound up w/ full-blown complex PTSD after many,many close calls w/ Dr.Death.By 20.I'd been shot twice,stabbed three times,had my skull fractured three times all from livin' on the mean streets of NYC.

After I was finally diagnosed,I had to confront the fact that all the weapons I carried just meant I was that much more likely to use em and so,w/ the help of a very understanding therapist,I gradually started handing over my arsenal...sawed-off 12 GA. pump,automatics,revolvers,(in case the 9 MM jammed) throwing knives,rolls of quarters and other small weapons.

This took months to let go of the feeling I NEEDED to have those w/ me at all times to protect myself as I began to realize the only demons left were the one's in my head.Ya shoulda seen the look on my therapist's face when I took the first sawed-off pump out from under my coat and placed it on her desk!!...priceless

Then an amazing thing started to happen...w/ each gun,knife,throwing star,etc. I handed over,I got a little tiny piece of my humanity back in exchange and I began to realize I was no longer as hyper as I'd been and slowly,the more relaxed I became...and the easier it was to eventually give up all my "tools"...well,except for just one.

The only thing I still carry is a tiny folding BUCK knife that's also a bottle opener that I keep on my keychain.(it's so small I can even get through airport security w/ it)When opened,the blade is only 1&1/8" long,but I keep it as sharp as a razor and know,if push comes to shove,I could do a LOT of damage w/ it.I guess that gives me the feeling of security I still need...and hopefully the day will come I don't feel the NEED to carry even that...maybe...someday.

One other thing that's been HUGE for me is that I stopped all activity connected to violence...no more watching violent TV shows,movies,MMA events,no more boxing matches,violent book themes,video games etc.I am definately much calmer now and this has helped reduce my flashbacks and things that would trigger the violent emotions that always seemed too close to the surface for my own good.

Keep working at it my friend...the more you let go of your guns and knives the BETTER it will make you feel in the long run!

PEACE and HOPE
Jefferylee
 
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