No Suicide And No Self Harm Contracts

[Jawn]

I like Superjen's teddy bear analogy. Iam, I think you just need to come right out and ask your T why he wants you to sign it and find out his motivation. I fully believe it's for you as Superjen has been saying. Hang in there Iam. Things are getting bad with therapy as you know they will, but I believe you will turn the corner and start getting better. You just have to believe that and hang in there.

Jawn

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Don't worry - it's fine. As I say, you didn't know. It's ok and it's not your fault. But I do have to leave the thread and I hope I haven't caused any harm either.

 

[Iam]

Geeze... I am so sorry. I think I am feeling extremely vulnerable because I actually shared with my T how F'd up I truly am. I didn't mean to get people upset. This whole thing is ridiculous. I just wanted some input as to if other's had been asked to sign and what they thought of it.

Jen....you did help. You make good points.

And Jawn....thank you too ;o) You've been on my heart.

So, let's close this thread so nobody else gets upset.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Iam,

Don't worry. It was a perfectly legitimate thread to start. It's just a sensitive topic for me. You haven't upset me. It's crap from the past and nothing to do with you. So whatever you do don't go stressing that you've highly upset me because you haven't. Plus, Ive barely slept and I'm overtired. It's alright mate. It was a legit question to ask. I probably just got a little bit fired up.

-Jen

 

[intothelight]

Hi Iam,

After I was hospitalized at the beginning of July, my T and I developed an anti-suicide contract. It wasn't the contract itself that was helpful. More importantly, it laid out a plan of what I could do, should I ever be close to that point again. It gave me a means to cope and a way to reach out before things went to far.

The plan involved my family and really did not involve my T. She just facilitated. Its about putting something in place to save your life. If your T suggested it, then it probably is a good idea. I don't even entertain suicidal thoughts, because when you have the means and a plan, it only takes a split second to execute it.

Put the means and plan into living, not dying. You are so worth being alive and it will get better.

ITL

 

[Iam]

I am happy to hear it ITL. It sounds like this has been a good thing for you ;o) I've read your diary so know that you have been thru a lot. I love your positive outlook.

I do NOT want my family involved in any way shape or form. Our sons are grown and out of the house. While they know I am in therapy and that I've been diagnosed with PTSD, they know very little about why other thanmy growing up with alcoholism and domestic violence. I do not want to put my husband thru that kind of worry again either.

I do have 2 friends that I can call any time of day or night, though I have never done that. I suppose I could put those on the list along with my T. IDK......it just makes it all too real for me.

 

[Jawn]

Put the means and plan into living, not dying. You are so worth being alive and it will get better.

ITL

I agree with this. Plan on getting better and living. You deserve it and so does your family.

Jawn

 

[Iam]

Thanks Jawn ;o) I agree totally that my family deserves better than what I am now. Oh how I wish I COULD get better! I do have some good days, sometimes even good weeks! If I could just get to where those out number the bad ones....I am trying, have been working hard to get there. It is very discouraging for both my husband and I to have set backs like this. I am a survivor though so will continue fighting ;o)

 

[anni]

Iams, mine's verbal with my T.It was over 5 years ago I made it, but in doing the freak out did question motivation. It's just a point of referral- a promise to at least speak with him should a serious intent be there. My S intentions are terribly knee-jerk, if infrequent these days. This consisitant 'thing' that's at least verbally in place does tend to at least ground me long enough to focus SOMETHING about whatever I'm feeling to gain perspective of some chaotic sort and at least call him. I'm sure everyone is different, as are T's and thier motivations, so yours may of course may thinking something else.

It's 'bought him time', in the past, is all, to make sure I focus enough to make some sort of connection with someone, by which time the knee jerk thing has gone away. It came up in session just yesterday, in point of fact, so am glad I did freak out all those years ago and got a 'good' answer from him.

I hope you have some peace with this soon, it must be terribly upsetting for you!

Anni

 

[AdamAnt]

From my view, it seems that your T has opened up some. Was saying that he's not a crisis councelor, but now saying he WANTS you to contact him in times of stress, sounds genuine to me. I agree that the contract is a token. One doesn't have to dig too deep to see that if you don't hold up your end of the bargain that they have no recourse...Seems like it serves one purpose well, to get you to hesitate in times of despair. It keeps you from making a permanent decision concerning a temporary problem! And that's a good thing Iam. Let go and sign it. The fact that you take it seriously is a comfort.

 

[Iam]

Oh Annie and AdamAnt.....what both of you said is such a comfort! Seriously ;o)

Annie, it is really good to hear that I am not the only one to have this reaction of questioning motivation on the part of my T. It gives me the courage to ask him.

Adam,

Seems like it serves one purpose well, to get you to hesitate in times of despair. It keeps you from making a permanent decision concerning a temporary problem!

Those were my T's EXACT words! Hmmm.....coincidence? My problem is that right now I am feeling that it is NOT a temporary problem. It's not just what happened with my mom last week. It is more the way I knee/jerk react on an ongoing basis. The constant of having to fight this monster. Still the fact that you used Dale's exact words pulls me up short and makes me think.

Guess maybe I will open up to my Primary Care Dr at my physical next week. I've only seen him twice in the 2 yrs he's been my dr. and have only told him that I suffer from clinical depression and what meds my previous dr. had me on. I do know my current T sent him a diagnosis of anhedonia when I first started seeing him last fall. I suspect Dale has either sent him info on my recent relapse as well or is at minimum thinking about it.

Thanks again to all of you that responded. It helps put me in a better frame of mind about all of this.

 

[bluekermit]

From my therapy experience the contract is meant to help you and help you heal. As silly as it may seem or inconsequential or easily breakable with no repercussions at the time of deepest desires to harm oneself, if even a brief thought of the contract arises, no matter how silly it may have been, might be enough for reconsideration and backing down, or wait a bit longer-think about it a bit more....

It might be a speck of dust in the thundering thought process that changes the outcome. A tiny speedbump that might help for the better?

Like a commitment to not drink/drug for x-days it is something that serves as an anchor, even a weak anchor that could help change the course of events and feed the healing process.

That's just my opinion but to me it sounds like a good idea to do it.