HI All,
I want to thank you for your comments and support in this thread over the last week. Just to update what has culminated from it all.
I had my appt with my regular dr yesterday. Turns out my T had not contacted him, which I was thankful for. I ended up telling my dr about being in therapy, weaning off my meds and about my having PTSD. He was very empathetic and asked a lot of questions. He was fine with my weaning myself of my anti-depressant and reminded me that he had said I could if I ever wanted to. He was concerned about my present state of mind but said that he would leave it up to my T and I as to whether I go back on. I have a prescription for it (not to mention a full bottle at home.) The physical exam was hard for me to go thru, he seem to realize this and encouraged me that I wouldn't have to do it again for 3 years. YAY!
My appt with my T went well too. We discussed his motivation for the contract. He told me that when he first saw these years ago his take on it was that it helped to relieve the therapist from feelings of guilt if a patient were to committ suicide. He has changed his viewpoint. He said he uses anything within his power to help keep a client alive. Whether it be using the idea of not leaving that kind of devestation behind for their family members, reminding them of better times or in this case a contract. He believes that the client making that kind of committment helps them fight the urge. He did also say that it helps him not to worry about the patient constantly. He apologized for not being more diligent in asking me about my state of mind. I guess I have put on a pretty good front. He also told me that he never had any intention of calling my dr. and would not do so unless we spoke about it first. He also said that he has never been in a situation that he felt required him to have a patient committed. That he didn't feel it would be in the best interest of the client unless there was absolutely no alternative. BTW, he did not present me with a contract to sign and I don't know if he still plans on emailing one to me.
So all in all my appts turned out very well. I am feeling much better about things. Thanks again for your support everyone.
