Not Being Totally Honest In T.

[Arctic]

Why do I feel as though I’m not being totally honest with my therapist on what’s going on. I’m leaving out the crap that probably should be “the most important thing” we talk about, but I find scary…
She asked me at my last appt if I felt like I’ve gone backwards. I said yes. I feel like a failure. There’s a difference of the PTSD going away, vs its always going to be there and learning how to cope with symptons??

Then again, they’ve probably heard *worse* than what’s going on in my head. Its their job, they deal with this stuff every day, they’ve trained in this stuff for years.

Maybe its cause I avoid eye contact when I talk about the terrifying stuff.

or maybe this is completely expected for someone under my circumstances?

-Arctic

 

[SimplyComplex]

It takes time...thats all I can say. Just keep working. T tells me to be kind to myself when I feel like I am not progressing. There have been times I slipped back a bit...she says its normal.

Can you bring this topic up with your t?

 

[kimba]

As my T would tell me when I dissociate and shut down- that's the stuff we need to be working with. I would just put a general question to her about how she feels you are doing as well so you are both on the same page. JMHO

 

[ronin47]

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself about not feeling like you can talk about everything. Of course the worst stuff is going to be the most difficult to talk about. Never feel like a failure because you are honest, even just with yourself.

 

[just me here]

this mental exercise is like anything else physically difficult, it gets easier with repitition. I kind of worked up to the heavy lifting by slowly revealing things I didn't want to and watching the responses, it got easier for me but without trust I doubt I would have kept at it.
This isn't easy or we would all be off doing something else.
you know, I did waste a lot of time on therapists I didn't truly trust and witholding stuff I was unwilling to share with them. If I could go back and give myself some advice from the future, I would say "you have Dr./Patient confidentiality to protect you, open up, lay it all out, if the T doesn't respond well, you can walk away and unless you allow it that history stays confidential".
Hard to do, took some work, burt thats what it is and thats what I would say to myself.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Avoiding eye contact is totally normal, and this symptom is called 'therapeutic resistance', I believe.

We talk about things when we feel safe and ready. Though it's a T.'s job to push us into facing it, it is also their job to help build a strong therapeutic alliance where we CAN safely transfer out our traumas into the therapeutic space, and walk away transformed instead of re-traumatized.

A healthy T. doesn't feel like we're 'lying' in the judgmental, immoral sense like we keep hearing the term used out in the world. It's simply a mental defense we haven't yet felt comfortable putting down so we can face that issue.

TOTALLY NORMAL....and part of the process. It helps when we lay down the moral judgment against ourselves and speak kindly to the part that is afraid.

...and make friends with that part of ourselves.

Good self-awareness, ((((Artic))))!