Altering my core belief of being totally bad & unworthy no matter; corrosive self doubt

fern

Confident
Recognize, acknowledge, investigate, nurture.. I will try to remember this. Sounds very helpful.
I wonder if my ruminations are also possibly OCD thinking. How do you deal with your rumination/obsessive thoughts?
I recognize and affirm your practice of intentional kindness toward yourself while you navigate these emotional difficulties. It takes a lot of perseverance.
 

ms spock

Sponsor
Recognize, acknowledge, investigate, nurture.. I will try to remember this. Sounds very helpful.
I just did it whilst gardening to stop the obsessive thinking.

I wonder if my ruminations are also possibly OCD thinking.
I have only known for a week or two so I wouldn't be able to tell you.

How do you deal with your rumination/obsessive thoughts?
Lately listening to David Burns' podcasts one after another.

Listening to someone's rational thinking - news shows that going methodically through each issue and breaking them down.

Blocking them out with binge TV watching.

Don't try not to think the thoughts - they become stronger.

Disputing them.

Reading a book.

Doing guided meditations.

I have been thinking of rereading the David Burns' book for 1-2-3 years? The first time I read it, it really helped a lot.

Bringing myself back to the present.

Comfort eating - which I am working on stopping.

I have the David Burns' book on audio tape now so I will listen to that on my phone whilst gardening.


I recognize and affirm your practice of intentional kindness toward yourself while you navigate these emotional difficulties. It takes a lot of perseverance.
It does. Thanks.
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
(((@ms spock )))
If you could only see yourself as I "see" you... Just for a second... I think you'd be surprised. I see you as a strong mental warrior who is surviving in spite of incredible odds against you. You never quit no matter how hard it gets and you keep fighting for your healing. When you love someone you stand by them all the way through whatever comes along. Nothing dissuades you from your goals when you set your mind to it. I have always been in awe of how well you are able to put into words things that help me understand my own reactions and responses.

When I am drowning in feelings, I try to remember that "feelings aren't facts." It doesn't make me feel better, but it reminds me that I'm being subjective and over-judgemental in a way that I would never be towards someone else. We are so horridly hard on ourselves and it IS corrosive as H***l!

I have been praying for the desire to change, which I know I really DON'T want. I don't like change because it's uncomfortable so I'm praying to get out of my own way and that it won't hurt too much on the way to change...

Sending you hugs and a reminder that you ARE stronger than you realize. You will prevail. Of this I am sure!
 
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ms spock

Sponsor
Thank you for this acknowledgement. I missed your response.

(((@ms spock )))
If you could only see yourself as I "see" you... Just for a second...
***tries to see from your perspective***
I think you'd be surprised. I see you as a strong mental warrior who is surviving in spite of incredible odds against you. You never quit no matter how hard it gets and you keep fighting for your healing.
My corrosive self doubt snuck back in and I went down, hard, but this time I got up much quicker. 9 days depressive episode.

So takes a deep breath. Okay I am being much less dissociated so I am going to take this in. You "see" me and this is confronting and profound for me but also really appreciated and hungered for. I do want reassurance at times, like what you would get from a family. I am being here a lot more and I am doing better with that. But often folks say really positive things and I don't choose to take it in. So I will take this in.

I am just not as bad as my head says I am. It's taken a lot of time to get to this point. I feel like I am close to a big change, or an accumulation.
When you love someone you stand by them all the way through whatever comes along.
This is true I am steadfast and loyal. I do disappear from folks lives from time to time but I do try to come back.

Nothing dissuades you from your goals when you set your mind to it.
I am very determined. I have new goals or goals that I can achieve now and it's exciting.

I am listening to David Burns' podcasts on his website and on YouTube.

and reading his new book as well and watching his courses online.

I have always been in awe of how well you are able to put into words things that help me understand my own reactions and responses.
Thank you! It means a lot that someone else can benefit from what I am going through or notices how much I do.

When I am drowning in feelings, I try to remember that "feelings aren't facts." It doesn't make me feel better, but it reminds me that I'm being subjective and over-judgemental in a way that I would never be towards someone else. We are so horridly hard on ourselves and it IS corrosive as H***l!
It's true. I would never treat someone or talk to some one the way I speak to or treat myself.
I have been praying for the desire to change, which I know I really DON'T want. I don't like change because it's uncomfortable so I'm praying to get out of my own way and that it won't hurt too much on the way to change...
That's process resistance and outcome resistance.
Sending you hugs and a reminder that you ARE stronger than you realize. You will prevail. Of this I am sure!
Thanks it didn't feel like it. (Yes emotional reasoning!) But I am getting there.
 
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