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Altering my core belief of being totally bad & unworthy no matter; corrosive self doubt

#13
Not that it's particularly helpful @ms spock . But me too. Really badly. :(

I suppose though, feeling like a useless, horrible, terrible person, doesn't necessarily make it so?

I did notice (think), after some abusive words (other's), that if I had heard them a lot, earlier (I have), it's no wonder I feel the way I do. I mean, in so far, as most would, I think.

:hug:
 
Thread starter #14
I suppose though, feeling like a useless, horrible, terrible person, doesn't necessarily make it so?
That's it. It doesn't necessarily make it so. It just doesn't, even when it feels like "TRUTH"! Our traumatised brains are lying to us.

I did notice (think), after some abusive words (other's), that if I had heard them a lot, earlier (I have), it's no wonder I feel the way I do.
Yeah me too. It's no wonder we feel like this. It is perfectly understandable.

So it's time to tend to the distorted cognitions - distorted thinking. So have you read David Burns? His book is "Feeling Good". It's brilliant.

I ended up binge eating last night. It was all too much. I was all over the place. I was totally overwhelmed. I am trying to push myself way, way, way, way too much. It is not sensible. But I can't let it go as well, I am conflicted.
 
#15
it feels like "TRUTH"! Our traumatised brains are lying to us.
Yes. :hug:

have you read David Burns? His book is "Feeling Good".
Was he the one who did the Mindful Way Through Depression? I did that by audiobook but didn't succeed. However, I did hear him interviewed- a fascinating but disgusting topic- Pharma had pushed for and achieved publication that were outright lies (according to him) about the effectiveness of SSRI's in depression treatment, then retracted years later (in legitimate circles, the AMA, publications in the Lancet etc). Which was when he started alternative thinking about how to manage it. I could find the interview if necessary.

(Sorry, hard to find words today.)
 
Thread starter #16
On the 20th of September this year I will have been here for a decade. I have come so far, I really have, I have moved out of sight in terms of what I used to be. The really hard thing is that I have so far to go, to come to this now, to be present in my body. Basic groundedness is still such a struggle for me. Holy f*ck this is really hard. I am pushing myself too much and I will go down for the count if I don't back off but I really want to make progress.
 
Thread starter #17
Was he the one who did the Mindful Way Through Depression? I did that by audiobook but didn't succeed.
No

However, I did hear him interviewed- a fascinating but disgusting topic- Pharma had pushed for and achieved publication that were outright lies (according to him) about the effectiveness of SSRI's in depression treatment, then retracted years later (in legitimate circles, the AMA, publications in the Lancet etc). Which was when he started alternative thinking about how to manage it. I could find the interview if necessary.

(Sorry, hard to find words today.)
No worries. Sound interesting.
 
Thread starter #18
On the 20th of September this year I will have been here for a decade. I have come so far, I really have, I have moved out of sight in terms of what I used to be. The really hard thing is that I have so far to go, to come to this now, to be present in my body. Basic groundedness is still such a struggle for me. Holy f*ck this is really hard. I am pushing myself too much and I will go down for the count if I don't back off but I really want to make progress.
 
Thread starter #21
This is just OCD thoughts that I have to stop giving so much attention to, and I have broken the back of the suicidal ideation so I can do this now. Making progress.
 
Thread starter #24
It's really shifting at the moment. It's like all the things I have learnt are converging all at once. I can manage this and it is tough at times but I am doing really. It's amazing!
 
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