Altering my core belief of being totally bad & unworthy no matter; corrosive self doubt

[fern]

Recognize, acknowledge, investigate, nurture.. I will try to remember this. Sounds very helpful.
I wonder if my ruminations are also possibly OCD thinking. How do you deal with your rumination/obsessive thoughts?
I recognize and affirm your practice of intentional kindness toward yourself while you navigate these emotional difficulties. It takes a lot of perseverance.

 

[ms spock]

Recognize, acknowledge, investigate, nurture.. I will try to remember this. Sounds very helpful.

I just did it whilst gardening to stop the obsessive thinking.

I wonder if my ruminations are also possibly OCD thinking.

I have only known for a week or two so I wouldn't be able to tell you.

How do you deal with your rumination/obsessive thoughts?

Lately listening to David Burns' podcasts one after another.

Listening to someone's rational thinking - news shows that going methodically through each issue and breaking them down.

Blocking them out with binge TV watching.

Don't try not to think the thoughts - they become stronger.

Disputing them.

Reading a book.

Doing guided meditations.

I have been thinking of rereading the David Burns' book for 1-2-3 years? The first time I read it, it really helped a lot.

Bringing myself back to the present.

Comfort eating - which I am working on stopping.

I have the David Burns' book on audio tape now so I will listen to that on my phone whilst gardening.

I recognize and affirm your practice of intentional kindness toward yourself while you navigate these emotional difficulties. It takes a lot of perseverance.

It does. Thanks.

 

[ms spock]

Screw this shit. I am reading David Burns' new book "Feeling Great" and I am going to become a solid CBT psychotherapist for myself.

 

[ms spock]

This is just a crock of f*cking shit. I have got to move past/out of this.

 

[ms spock]

I am really depressed and lonely. I feel unheard. I am also battling my thoughts of corrosive self doubt. I am in a bad way.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((@ms spock )))
If you could only see yourself as I "see" you... Just for a second... I think you'd be surprised. I see you as a strong mental warrior who is surviving in spite of incredible odds against you. You never quit no matter how hard it gets and you keep fighting for your healing. When you love someone you stand by them all the way through whatever comes along. Nothing dissuades you from your goals when you set your mind to it. I have always been in awe of how well you are able to put into words things that help me understand my own reactions and responses.

When I am drowning in feelings, I try to remember that "feelings aren't facts." It doesn't make me feel better, but it reminds me that I'm being subjective and over-judgemental in a way that I would never be towards someone else. We are so horridly hard on ourselves and it IS corrosive as H***l!

I have been praying for the desire to change, which I know I really DON'T want. I don't like change because it's uncomfortable so I'm praying to get out of my own way and that it won't hurt too much on the way to change...

Sending you hugs and a reminder that you ARE stronger than you realize. You will prevail. Of this I am sure!

 

[ms spock]

Thank you for this acknowledgement. I missed your response.

(((@ms spock )))
If you could only see yourself as I "see" you... Just for a second...

***tries to see from your perspective***

I think you'd be surprised. I see you as a strong mental warrior who is surviving in spite of incredible odds against you. You never quit no matter how hard it gets and you keep fighting for your healing.

My corrosive self doubt snuck back in and I went down, hard, but this time I got up much quicker. 9 days depressive episode.

So takes a deep breath. Okay I am being much less dissociated so I am going to take this in. You "see" me and this is confronting and profound for me but also really appreciated and hungered for. I do want reassurance at times, like what you would get from a family. I am being here a lot more and I am doing better with that. But often folks say really positive things and I don't choose to take it in. So I will take this in.

I am just not as bad as my head says I am. It's taken a lot of time to get to this point. I feel like I am close to a big change, or an accumulation.

When you love someone you stand by them all the way through whatever comes along.

This is true I am steadfast and loyal. I do disappear from folks lives from time to time but I do try to come back.

Nothing dissuades you from your goals when you set your mind to it.

I am very determined. I have new goals or goals that I can achieve now and it's exciting.

I am listening to David Burns' podcasts on his website and on YouTube.

List of Feeling Good Podcasts | CBT Resource by Dr. David Burns

Browse every Feeling Good Podcast episode by Dr. David Burns, a free CBT database with show notes. Join tens of thousands worldwide.

feelinggood.com

and reading his new book as well and watching his courses online.

I have always been in awe of how well you are able to put into words things that help me understand my own reactions and responses.

Thank you! It means a lot that someone else can benefit from what I am going through or notices how much I do.

When I am drowning in feelings, I try to remember that "feelings aren't facts." It doesn't make me feel better, but it reminds me that I'm being subjective and over-judgemental in a way that I would never be towards someone else. We are so horridly hard on ourselves and it IS corrosive as H***l!

It's true. I would never treat someone or talk to some one the way I speak to or treat myself.

I have been praying for the desire to change, which I know I really DON'T want. I don't like change because it's uncomfortable so I'm praying to get out of my own way and that it won't hurt too much on the way to change...

That's process resistance and outcome resistance.

Sending you hugs and a reminder that you ARE stronger than you realize. You will prevail. Of this I am sure!

Thanks it didn't feel like it. (Yes emotional reasoning!) But I am getting there.

 

[ms spock]

This is quite the challenge.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Self doubt is SO corrosive but it seems to be the dialog of my inner voice...but only directed at myself. I give EVERYONE "permission" to be imperfect but not myself. I wonder if it's ever cured and/or silenced?

@ms spock I hold you in high esteem because I have been a "witness" to your struggles and your growth, through your words here over the years.

You have the ability to put things into words that helped me understand and sort through the "eating of my emotions" that is the reason why I am a binge eater, alternating with denying healthy food intake. Seeing it from your perspective made it easier to tackle, if that makes sense.

Keep up the good work You are kind of of a life-guide from my point of view. Your work with animals shows me who you are as well and I thank you for being you!

 

[ms spock]

Self doubt is SO corrosive but it seems to be the dialog of my inner voice...but only directed at myself. I give EVERYONE "permission" to be imperfect but not myself. I wonder if it's ever cured and/or silenced?

I am reading David Burns' "Feeling Great"

There's some good parts - one is Relapse Prevention Training and I have to get really good with for myself.

The other are:

Positive Reframing - that means doing your Daily Mood Journal
Magic Dial - working through your Daily Mood Journal and determining how much you want to reduce the distorted cognitions
Straightforward Technique is straightforward - you ask yourself "Is that really true?" Do I really believe it? Is there another way to look at the situation?

one that's really important for perfectionism is the Double Standard Technique - talk as you would a friend compassionately.

There's 50 techniques and I am learning them.

There's Self-Defeating Beliefs to be looked at.

@ms spock I hold you in high esteem because I have been a "witness" to your struggles and your growth, through your words here over the years.

Thanks for that.

You have the ability to put things into words that helped me understand and sort through the "eating of my emotions" that is the reason why I am a binge eater, alternating with denying healthy food intake. Seeing it from your perspective made it easier to tackle, if that makes sense.

It does help me to understand how it works for other people. Sometimes it really helps.

Keep up the good work You are kind of of a life-guide from my point of view. Your work with animals shows me who you are as well and I thank you for being you!

Thanks

I really want to move forward in a different way. I think maybe that my expectations are too high sometimes.

 

[ms spock]

So it's the distorted cognition of emotional reasoning - just because it feels real doesn't mean it's real. I caught myself thinking in this way this morning and I stopped myself.

I have to look at the Double Standard Technique as well. I would never treat another human being the way I treat myself.

I was picking at myself this morning and I noticed it and pulled myself up as well.

 

[ms spock]

Have you seen this @AngelkeeperJ?

I am going to listen to all of David Burns' podcasts. The website of David D. Burns, MD | 001: Introduction to the TEAM Model | Feeling Good

List of Feeling Good Podcasts | CBT Resource by Dr. David Burns

Browse every Feeling Good Podcast episode by Dr. David Burns, a free CBT database with show notes. Join tens of thousands worldwide.

feelinggood.com

The ones on self worth are challenging in a good way. It's changing my ideas and ways of thinking. I am working on it.