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Not Doing Well - PTSD and My Back Is Out

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Thanks everyone, much appreciated. My back is slowly getting better. I'm still taking advil twice a day to try and bring the swelling down and I had to put my tensor on my thigh. With my back and hips out that bad it started to reinjure an old torn muscle and I was limping, so on went the tensor. My freaking anxiety attacks are just unreal right now. (that isn't helping because my back tenses up and pulls more out of place.) I couldn't tell you how many heart palpations I'm having, or how high I jump etc.. I even got really paranoid at work that my boss was "angry" with me or "whispering" about me. Thankfully I was able to tell myself that I was just having "one of my moments." and I worked my way through it. By the time x-mas hit's I should be half nuts. (that is half nuts by my standards LMAO) I have a good freind in AA, who I've been slowly telling him about my "situation." Pah, he knew I was an anxious wreck waiting to happen. LOL. Anyways, I've been getting freaker and freakier about going x-mas shopping so he is going with me on Saturday (okay, more like dragging me out whether I want to or not LOL.) I highly suspect he just might show up and here and make me walk my dog too. He offered to walk with me before but I can't even make it to his house! So he found out that was why I wasn't showing up and got that gleam in his eyes... so I won't be suprised if he starts dragging me out LOL. He's trying to convince me to go for coffee with him too. LMAO, he just doesn't give up. Anyways, good and bad.. such is life.

Bec

Ack, I wanted to add that my therapist won't work past 5 pm and I work until 5. My appointments take over an hour and a half so I couldn't even go on the lunch hour. So guess what? no more therapist. This bloody country is so pathetic.. I want to move! So, right when I really really really need a therapist.. i can't have one. Why do they even bother pretending to have mental health services in Canada? What is the point?

Bec
 
Well I went back to the chiro and he snapped it in again today. It was nearly as bad as Monday. He thinks it should hold for awhile. God I hope so.. I still have to watch what I am doing though. I can't wait for Friday night.. looking forward to a four day weekend...

Bec
 
hey bec, i so hope that you are feeling well. i think the stress of christmas is making me more shakey and nervous too. even though it's not "bad" stress, it is just more on the plate. could you maybe take off early one day for an appt.? my therapist is going to be gone for 3 wks and i'm panicing, i can't imagine not having one available at all. hope something works out for you.
cathy
 
thanks Cathy. I would if I could afford it.. As it is. I am scraping by on what I make. I just can not afford one second off work. Hell, I haven't missed a minute with my back out to an insane degree. I kept going.. no choices here. I just think it's pathetic that they don't offer an evenng service at least once a week. Hell, not all of us can afford the time off...

Bec
 
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