Not Good Enough For My Daughter

[Leah123]

I am so stressed out right now. I don't think I can handle it. My mother arrives in 3 days, my In-Laws are coming tomorrow, I'm so short on sleep, so busy, and my daughter's being very difficult. I NEED to get away, and I can't. I feel trapped and awful. I'm trying so hard to keep my temper, I can hardly see straight. If only I could rest. I'm gonna have to try and lie down or something, but I have SO much to do. :(

 

[Abstract]

I deteriorate severely if I have family visit.

Is there any way you can put off her visit Leah? Its OK to take care of your feelings. Can they all stay in hotels at least? It's OK if others are disappointed and we have a right to self protection. Sending you support.

 

[Leah123]

Thanks, Abstract. It's comforting to hear from you. I WISH I could cancel the visit. There is only one reason, in the whole wide world, I allow my mother near me, and it's very sad. She had a child, my little brother, and he is only 14 now. If I do not keep the peace with her, I will lose him.

My mother cost me much of my family, as she's driven most all of them out of her life, so as a child, I lost them all too. And I lost my step-siblings when I left the abuse, and, well, I lost a lot.

I can't stand to lose my little brother, to abandon him. So, that is why I accept her visit. I'm going to try very hard to have a little compassion for myself while she's here. My therapist says she'll help me, and I'm going to try and take a little time for myself during the visit. I am worried, but hope I'll cope well. I'm used to the visits, about once a year, but it's hard now, with everything I've stirred up in therapy, and I'm feeling very tired and having a difficult time right now, so... trying to stay strong. :)

Thanks for replying.

 

[Abstract]

Wishing you luck Leah! I certainly understand why you are doing it. It sounds very hard. I hope you can find reasons to get away when you need to. A few more years and hopefully you won't have to do it any more.

Doing trauma work and seeing people is entirely different to normal situations.

 

[Leah123]

Thanks. I've turned into a hot mess with my therapist- I'm hoping she can handle the over-talkative, anxious, upset new me until I feel more normal again. It's been an atrocious week in therapy, never quite dealt with such hard topics so openly before I feel like, and I'm so short on sleep and everything else. My only consolation, lol, is I've been so stressed, I've lost 16lbs in therapy, lol, world's most expensive diet plan. :(

 

[Abstract]

:( Oh.

, never quite dealt with such hard topics so openly before I feel like,

I understand that and it is very hard. When circumstances force us to be more open than we feel able to be to safe to be. Because we have to have the help.

Remember brother or no brother you can still make an excuse, lie, whatever and fix it after. Sometimes we can't manage something and that is OK. You won't loose your brother from that. Good luck.

 

[Abstract]

Sending you support Leah.