Not resiliant=weak

[The Albatross]

P.S. Resilience is in fact something that can be learned and acquired. I did a study and a series of goal/challenges on it and made a good amount of progress. Miechenbaum's book: Roadmap to Resilience (Roadmap to Resilience: A Guide for Military, Trauma Victims & Their Families) has a wonderful breakdown of 8 areas/sub categories... and over 100 types of habits to be acquired... but it can be done. I actually had a webnar with him in another online group shortly after the book came out and he asked for feedback from PTSD's. Initially I found it very simplistic... but took it seriously enough to attempt for a couple years. If I got stuck in one item or subcategory I just switched to a different one for a while... and kept ticking things off the list when I'd cultivated the new habits.

It was a lot of work and took a good amount of effort and was a longer term goal. In tandem I explored autonomy, self-efficacy and some other things like fear v.s. weakness. What actually happened was that once the thinking style/habits became more engrained, resilience has seemed to taken root and continued to improve... with blips and skitters and set backs, but there is improvement.

So... if you're up for a way to acquire it. It is doable and there are tools. K?

Added a good PDF file roughing out some of the highlights of Meichenbaum's material: http://www.psychalive.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Final-Meichenbaum-Resilience.pdf

 

[The Albatross]

Added the articles I was thinking of here:
10 primary cognitive distortions (negative thinking styles)
Negative Thinking Styles - Reframing Negative Thoughts Pt 2

Also, a certain degree of acceptance about PTSD not having anything to do with "weakness" comes into play.
What I liked about the Appendix of the book I used... was that I didn't have to do all or complete them all in each of the categories to see progress. I started with a self assessment of where I was and set myself to acquiring and developing better habits in those where I had a deficit to bring up fast a more balanced "wellness".

 

[desiderata310]

Is this why I feel the need to turn into a lawyer anytime my T tries to say something positive to me? I feel an intense need to argue any point he makes whether I believe in what I'm saying or not.

Yup the Backfire effect.
If you like The Oatmeal, look up "you're not going to believe what I'm about to tell you"
OR just google Backfire Effect.
Or look up the podcast "you are not so smart' and listen to the three part series on the Backfire effect.

AKA confirmation bias.
AKA "f*ck you, I know I was at fault and you can't convince me otherwise"
AKA "Amygdala doesn't know when to stop protecting me."

 

[Deleted member 42783]

ok, read a couple of things. The oatmeal was cute. I found it interesting that pretty much none of the facts presented were shocking/emotional for me. What gets me is that my "core beliefs" are not backed up by my upbringing or my faith or my rapist for that matter. They could only have come from me. Which is bonkers.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

@The Albatross
Thanks for the resources. I am interested in re-learning how to think.