Not Sure Where This Goes

[Gs172003]

Your pain over their pain is a very normal and human reaction. It must be very hard as a mother. And it...

Thank you

 

[Gs172003]

Ever since I posted this I don't want to come to this site as much. I was an all day everyday now it's every once in a while.

I feel like not only do I have to deal with her pain but now HE'S here.

Messed up.

 

[Gs172003]

How do I get rid of it

 

[Abstract]

But I guess the truth is that he both was there, already whether you were trying to avoid that or not (PTSD), and is no longer there )in truth its the past) . In the longer term the way to get rid of it is to process what happened to you. But I know that is simplistic and so much else has to be dealt with when it comes to doing so.

 

[Gs172003]

But I guess the truth is that he both was there, already whether you were trying to avoid that or not (...

I read this and I will be honest. I wanted to throw my phone at the wall or cuss you out. I don't want to talk about it I dont want to face it and there he is. What he did to me is whatever but my kids??

 

[The Albatross]

I think that would be a good topic for either a new thread (there are members here with children who've been affected for instance) OR a p.c. conversation with peers you trust.

You say you are wanting to be rid of it and are now angry, and believe me I understand completely sharing "too much" cuz at times I do. However I expect the anger you are feeling isn't at Abstract really at all. Is it?

I can't advise really on issues about children except generally cuz we have had none (I was not able). I do think this is something that would warrant processing if (the proviso, IF) you are at a time/place or in a space where you are able to do so. If not, then seek support as you are able until you can.

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. I edited the post like three times. Anger, rightly used is motivation for change... however when/how/where to do this is dependent on what is best for you and your children, k?

 

[The Albatross]

"I feel like not only do I have to deal with her pain but now HE'S here." He is not here. That's fact based. It is okay to be aware of an item but not be able to deal with it as they crop up. Honest.

Don't kick the supports out from under your recovery Zoogal.

 

[Gs172003]

I think that would be a good topic for either a new thread (there are members here with children w...

No. I'm not angry at him at all. I'm angry at this situation.

 

[GrayOwl]

To Zoogal:
I wish you, as I think every one else here does also, as much support and healing as you need.
For you, your children, and those others' in your sphere who are hurting.
It is so painful when things resurface, especially when we are blindsided.
The anger and desire for restitution and revenge can seem consuming, even justified.
But you have shown that you care deeply about those close to you, and yourself.
As you navigate and process painful memories and thoughts, I hope you all find strength and comfort
in each other, and in the knowledge that you have all survived hell and can grow beyond your trauma into beautiful human beings with compassion and worth. And you have each other.
It's bittersweet for me, but the incredible passion and empathy that I carry today as a result of my trauma, has made me a stronger person, and I choose today to impart my pain and experiences into positive channels that make my life more worthwhile than I ever thought possible.
That doesn't mean that there isn't an abuser out there that I wouldn't still like to see eradicated by a runaway garbage truck or a hive of killer African bees, but today I don't have to be driving the truck or tending the hive.
Take the kids to a movie, get a bowl of ice cream? A diversion? Anything that helps during your pain. You're probably angry at everything I say and everything that moves. I understand. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. That's all that matters. It's out there.
Thank you for your honesty.
:hug:

 

[Gs172003]

To Zoogal:
I wish you, as I think every one else here does also, as much support and healing as you nee...

Wow you just read my mind (revenge) and yeah I'm pissed.

As stupid as this sounds my kids are grown now. Does it make it hurt any less? Nope. 23 21 and 19.

 

[Gs172003]

To Zoogal:
I wish you, as I think every one else here does also, as much support and healing as you nee...

Thank you for your post. It was very much appreciated. My kids all live on their own now and the one this is about is all the way across the country. She has been self destructive most of her life until very very recently.