Not Wanting to Hear About Other People's Problems


Yes. I think it’s that too - taking the caretaker role. Maybe it’s easier to relate to the pain of others than it is to share your own pain, at least for a while. I could never talk a lot about what happened to me. My own trauma is not an easily understood thing, not even here.
So I was that great listener. It was healing to feel close to others, even if only in that role.
But at some stage, I got totally worn out. And I attracted self centred people and others not self aware enough to realise the conversation is way too one way to be healthy.
I think I could relate to the struggles of others but I got tired of making myself invisible. I know I created that.
Nobody should live like a ghost.
I’m trying to be a real person now, not just a caring ear!!


I think there were times I got tired of living like a ghost and other times I preferred it. But it may have to do with expectations too @Nevermore ? As in if you believe you deserve it or not, at your core?


🤔 @Rosebud that feels true too. At my very lowest I think I was more ghostly than ever - did not want or expect to be seen. Still don’t in many ways, but something inside is saying enough lately!


Policy Enforcement
I've had people do this to me a lot. I don't mind listening and trying to help others with their problems, but it'd be nice if people would reciprocate.
I ended up getting into an argument with a woman I know who had a tantrum on me because I dared imply that she wasn't a good friend to me. I told her that, whenever we talk, it's 90% her and 10% me. She then projected her acts onto me and claimed that it was ME who always complained about things. Yeah, I did complain when I could get a word in edgewise.
I'm better off without her. Looking back, I see a lot of signs that she really didn't have my back on anything.