Death Now How Do I Cope

[imb4ur1973]

my mother is dying from pancreatic cancer, she has only days left, my PTSD is off the walls right now. If that's not enough my own family has shut me out even triggered me to the point where I can't be around them. My gf who I love with as much of my heart as I can possibly give, can't stand being my first line of defense and the person I vent to in order to reduce the or slow the way the triggers make me feel and act, yesterday after avoiding me for two days. She told me that because of this sometimes she don't know if she's in love with me anymore. All I want is for her to get closer to me now that I'm loosing my mom. Hold me more, snuggle me more, let me know your there for me and not just yourself. I'm loosing the one woman in the world I could always count on. But now the woman I'd like to turn too doesn't seem to want to be with me. What do I do?

 

[Freedomfighter]

my mother is dying from pancreatic cancer, she has only days left, my PTSD is off the walls right no...

I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom 1 1/2 months ago to ovarian cancer. Just like you I had a terrible time dealing with it, still do. When one has to fight PTSD everything changes. I could not watch my mom suffer, could not stand being in the hospital, could not stand her being in the hospital, could not stand seeing her suffer at home. I mean it was just pure terror, either way.

I got rid of my ex, because regardless of what situations I faced in life there was just this cold fish sitting across from me, now I do not even waste time on people that give just the smallest inclination of indifference or aggression. My time is way too precious for that.

After having been abused by my partner for over 20 years I learned the tough lesson that if you have to deal with people in your private life that can not comfort you mentally and/or physically then it is better to not bother at all. But that is my experience, not everyone shares those sentiments.