Now This Is A Funny Thing About The Va

[JarHed]

Well after years of getting it 'you know where' from the VA, I have to get a colonoscopy on tuesday. I'm hoping that they'll at least find some money or something of value. So after 40 years of getting 'hosed' by the VA, they get to do it for real. :laugh:

I'm hopin' to sleep through the whole thing and then fart around for a while before going home. Don't know why I find this so funny, I just do. :laugh:

 

[Ned]

Mate. It is funny. I think it falls into the 'irony' bracket. Remember the scene from 'The Right Stuff' tho......

 

[Ted Moen]

I woke up during mine and looked back to see the Doc and the students he was showing the procedure too. They didn't pay any attention to me so I watched the monitor and the inside of my colon and apparently drifted off. Next I knew everybody was gone and a nurse was giving me instructions on what to do. ;)

Ted

 

[Jimmy1]

I had a nasty divaticular abscess which almost ruptured my bowel. Had to have a section removed. Enough to give you the shits that was. So I have had numerous colonoscopies. I don't know about over there, but the worst part was the bowel preparation. All the shit you have to drink to clean you out. You might as well sit on the crapper and drink it.

Afterwards is funny. You are not allowed to go home until you have farted numerous times. The recovery ward sounds like an orchestra.

 

[JarHed]

Afterwards is funny. You are not allowed to go home until you have farted numerous times. The recovery ward sounds like an orchestra.

The first part doesn't sound like too much fun. Got a gut full of schrapnel myself, so it should prove interesting. The other part is pretty funny though. I've already got my books and mags lined up in the head. So I'm as ready as I can be. Should have had one a long time ago, but better late than never, I hope. :laugh:

 

[Jimmy1]

Mate, as I said, the hardest part is the preparation. The shit tastes foul and well over here, you have to drink litres of the stuff. Its the best laxative out. 30 min later and your shitting straw colored water. lol.
You wake up starving as you are not allowed to eat for over 12 hours.

 

[JarHed]

Mate, as I said, the hardest part is the preparation. The shit tastes foul and well over here, you have to drink litres of the stuff. Its the best laxative out. 30 min later and your shitting straw colored water. lol.
You wake up starving as you are not allowed to eat for over 12 hours.

What I love is the name of the stuff; GoLytely :laugh: What they should call it is foul blow it out your arse stuff. Thinkin' about puttin' some rum in with it. That's a clear liquid. :laugh: Then I get this. :poop: Guess I can deal with it once every 40 years or so. I actually got a ton of shrapnel in my gut so it will be interesting to see what's going on in there.

 

[JarHed]

Well it's been a few days and I think I can say that I survived the ordeal. I was awake but 'sedated' during the procedure. I have severe diverticulosis so it was a tortureous experience. Something like someone trying to shove a size 14 boot up your ass. Been sitting on my 'ring' for the last couple of days. Just waiting for the results; had a medium sized polup. I'm surprized they didn't find much scar tissue or schrapnel considering I took a shit load in the gut. Guess all an all it was........OK. Wouldn't want one next week though. :eek::poop::cautious::ROFLMAO:

 

[Jimmy1]

Mate, I had a divaticular abscess, and they ended up removing a part of my large bowel, so I know how you feel.
The part of the large bowel was removed after major surgery in 08 along with another military friend the old haemoroids which were stapled. A total pain in the arse, so to speak.

The bowel surgeon said the amount of soldiers with divaticulitis and haemoroids due to poor diet was huge.
Bung us up with cheese and shit for days on end, f*ck them