For example after I told her he was hard of hearing, when we discussed the situation later, he told me I was being illoyal. He told me that he would die for me while I enjoy being illoyal.
Yesterday he told me over and over how this was the worst thing ever happening to him. That he cannot possibly think of anything worse I could do to him. That I must at least admit how inacceptable my behaviour was. That I was not nearly sorry enough so that I should stop pretending to be sorry altogether.
I know he might not meant to say that and might have felt really sorry later but it hurt me nevertheless.
Yeah he needs to get you are not doing what it sounds he assumed you are.
As in exposing his weakness to not-an-ally. Aka disloyal / would get people killed.
Ffs combat PTSD. Helloo? Back in civilization, that's clearing out communication lines.
You were literally being his teammate, talking to the waiter, on his behalf.
I would also tell him that.
Because not only wrong rulebook altogether...
But he wasn't right about the situation either.
You were having his back.