General Ok... Hubby Is Sitting In The Kitchen... His Head In His Hands.

[Sunshine71]

OK... hubby is sitting in the kitchen... his head in his hands.

I am saying to him that he is losing me.....

He doesn't reply....

He scratches his cup with his nail, I am just looking at him. Nothing.

I ask him what can I do.... he says crack on and work.

I am stressed, have pains in my chest and I am to work.

He is still sitting at the table.

Do I leave him alone? Do I try to help? I am so tired. I just dont know this person. He is cold and like a big black cloud.

Thanks everyone.

Sunshine

 

[amethist]

I would leave him to his own thoughts for a while Sunshine.

Let him deal with his stuff for a while, while you deal with yours. You can't keep him all the time so let him have this one for himself.

Sounds tough I know, but it is what I did at the weekend and it worked. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks as always Amethist....

He came into my office and gave me a hug. He stood behind me while waiting for the printer not talking..... So I thought I wouldn't either.

He then shut my office door loudly and said "Im out of your office now".... in an angry voice...

He says he doesn't want to be like this - he never asked for this.

I feel he is getting worse .... He needs some more support.

Thanks everyone.

He seems calmer now, we had some dinner and although he couldn't sit still he is pottering around and played with our son for a while too.

Oh well back in my office... where I feel peaceful and can focus on work, emails and take my mind off of ... well my life I suppose...

Love Sunshine xx

 

[discarded]

At this time Sunshine all you can really do is focus on you. He needs his space and doesn't seem to be ready for you to help him. In my experience the more you put the focus on him more he will pull away and resent you. He knows he has a problem whether he is ready to do anything about it or not. He doesn't need reminding (I learnt that the hard way). Supporters really do do it tough and my heart goes out to you. For me it was the frustration of my sufferer not wanting my help or input that got to me the most. He never trusted that I had his best interests at heart nor that I was capable of understanding how hard it was for him to reach out.

Hang in there, I hope it gets easier for you. He is so lucky to have you in his life even if he doesn't acknowledge it much.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks Amethist for saying that you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes. I am trying not to carry what is not mine to carry.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am trying not to carry what is not mine to carry.

Very well phrased Gizmo. You are right.

 

[Proud wife]

I am new to this online chatting, but need support. My husband is different after 3 deployments & now our life has calmed down & he has come to me. He asked about seeing a counselor in December & told me over the weekend he feels lost & not himself. We are not to the point I see others are. We have dealt with depression with 2 of our children so he knows the strength of professional care. I just feel helpless right now.

 

[myvetswife]

I just feel helpless right now.

Yep. Welcome to the club. I know that feeling.

 

[Proud wife]

We just need to get the logistics down so I can get him/us the help needed.