One Of CPTSD Criteria Need Help With...

[LeoTheLion]

I have read several places about criteria for CPTSD, most of them match me. But I am not sure about this one so wonder if anyone can explain more clear or give example what could fit in this criteria?

Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge

Thanks

 

[drannepratt]

We generally think of CPTSD as growing out of prolonged or repeated childhood trauma. The "attribution of total power to the perpetrator" happens when, for example, a father keeps his family captive, terrorizing the mom as well as the kids. They are essentially imprisoned. If the child is young and this abuse goes on for years, the child-like belief that he has all the power is retained (for very good, and obvious, reasons).

Some have mixed feelings about a perpetrator; after all, he was beloved Dad, or Uncle, or Grandma; perhaps everybody loved him/her and nobody knew about the nighttime. Children love their parents, and with all the "evidence" from outside the immediate family may create a positive image of the perp that lives inside the child's mind, along with the frightening image.

I guess pre-occupation with vengeance can speak for itself. Do these examples help at all?

 

[kers]

Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator

I can give an example of this in my own life that might clarify this symptom, Leo. My abuser has not touched me in many years, and I have many adult resources at my disposal now. To an outsider, I am not in danger. However, I think there is still a possibility that he will attack me in the present day. On days when I am stressed or my other symptoms are triggered, my I become almost certain that "he is going to come get me." I overlook the realities of the situation, including my current power to protect myself, based on my past traumatic relationship.

 

[Aine]

Leo,

Like with kers, I still fear that my mother can come back and get me. Even though I moved out when I was 16, I lived in fear until my 18th birthday because she could come and claim me back whenever she wanted. Even now, when I am legally an adult, I fear her being back in my life because of how manipulative she can be and I've never been able to beat her in that sense.

I'm also constantly pre-occupied with the issue of preventing her from doing the damage she did to me to my siblings, who are quite a bit younger than I am. So I guess I'm not so much focused on revenge as much as containment.

I hope that helped clarify a bit.

Love and Light,

Aine.

 

[sisterinsurvival]

Varied changes in the perception of the perpetrator, such as attributing total power to the perpetrator or becoming preoccupied with the relationship to the perpetrator, including a preoccupation with revenge.

I can identify with this. My molester has been viewed in so many ways across the years.

 

[TLight]

Despite the horrific things my Father did to me, I was the one for years who felt I could somehow 'save' him. I loved him so. I think this is one of the factors in CPTSD. Stockholm Syndrome I think they call it.

And yes, after he died I felt he was 'possessing' me in a very lucid way. Like he was clinging to me from the other side, causing all kinds of torment in my life. I worked with a spiritual teacher for awhile on trying to get 'depossed.' This symptom has lessened.

And yes, the preoccupation with revenge......oh yes. Revenge still torments me.

 

[sassyfras]

Hey TLight, I suffer from Stockholm Syndrome too and it makes me cry just thinking about it. I wish my brain wasn't so messed up!!

 

[macelia]

I don't know but I think it depends on the person. That's the one criteria that doesn't fit me too. I went into foster care at almost 12 and from the day i left my mother's house it was almost as if she didn't exist. I don't remember much at all from those first 12 years, though. No memory of having any emotions or thoughts at all til after I left. Maybe it's different for people who block out all the memories/feelings.

 

[LSNP]

I recognized this right away in me. I gave my ex and my stalker total power over me mentally, I spend nearly every hour of every day thinking about one or the other of them... and revenge? Oh yes, revenge. Lots of scenarios pop in my head, though I do not act on them.......

 

[LSNP]

@DrannePratt

"We generally think of CPTSD as growing out of prolonged or repeated childhood trauma." While I definitely grew up in major disfunction, the long term victimization I experienced as an adult caused my CPTSD (did I just own that label?). I truly felt there was no way out. Every day was horrifying. I don't think it has to be a chilhood trauma.