Opinions re taking a valium before a therapy session, please

[Deleted member 34328]

but when she is particularly kind and compassionate towards me, I actually feel quite spooked by that, which I think is probably the opposite of what she intends.

I don't know if you generally write things down, one suggestion would be to spend some time writing this out for yourself first and then bring it up with your T. You're most likely correct in how she responds to an emotional reaction. I think it might help if you take some time and think about what would be a helpful response.

Sharing a particular issue with her as well as a possible solution would likely strengthen the trust as well as give her more insight into your needs. Perhaps help the dissociation as well - I'm just speculating. If your concern is in part emotional do you think this might be helpful in communicating your needs to her?

 

[Friday]

My understanding and experience is that sometimes medication is needed in order to make therapy even possible. When that’s the case? You do it twice. First on meds, second off meds. Very much like learning how to walk on crutches, is different than learning how to walk without them.

 

[barefoot]

@stp2012 I do like writing and sometimes find it useful to create a mindmap on a topic I want to talk about and then take that to session with me. I also used to journal regularly but haven’t for about a year. Maybe I could start again. Maybe it would help to write something out for myself to try to familiarise myself with it before I speak to T.

The thing is, I don’t really know what else to say beyond the few lines that I’ve already told her over email. That for the last few weeks I have felt very x and I don’t know why but it started after our session a few weeks ago when y happened and I haven’t been able to shake the feeling ever since.

I have no clue what else to say about it. But the fact that I am feeling it, that I can identify it, that it’s lingering, that it seems to have been triggered by something that happened in a session...these things feel like it must be important in some way and that therefore it is a good idea to share it with her. Even though I don’t know what else to say about it.

She replied to my heads up email yesterday asking me to please bring this to our next session, so she has encouraged me to talk about it.

In terms of what response from her would help/what I need, I don’t know that either. Sigh...!

If you asked me how I’d want her to be when I share something difficult with her, I’d say kind and caring and reassuring. And, afterwards, I can always appreciate her for how lovely she has been and that helps and is comforting and reassuring and helps me to trust her.

In the moment though, in a session, when I am struggling to stay contained and I’m getting dysregulated, I just feel such anxiety and panic when she is gentle and kind and, I think, I feel wary of her. I have no idea why. And, as I say, afterwards, when I have recalibrated and calmed down, I like that she was kind - it helps.

So, I don’t know how else I would prefer her to be?! If she wasn’t warm and caring, I wouldn’t feel reassured or a sense of comfort and trust afterwards, I don’t think. If she was emotionally cool at the time I think I would then worry that she doesn’t care or that what I’ve shared isn’t valid.

@Friday - that’s a useful approach to be to mull over...having a Valium run and then a second attempt minus Valium. Will think further on that idea. Thanks.

 

[barefoot]

I had my session today. Didn’t take a Valium.
Spent the first half hour wittering about nothing in particular then my T brought up the email I sent her to nudge me to talk about it.

It wasn’t very stressful. I didn’t get very distressed. I didn’t feel much of anything at all. Just a bit frozen. And I didn’t really have anything to say about it beyond what I’d already told her in the email. Didn’t know what to say. Just looked away a lot and shrugged a lot.

So, it felt like a bit of a non-event in the end.

 

[PJackson]

There are some things I want to talk about in therapy, which are difficult things.

I have a tendency...

What does your dosing schedule say? I have taken a Xanax before I go to visit (s) doctor, grocery shopping, church etc. I do feel better when I go out in public. Maybe you could take 1/2 a tablet.

My T says absolutely not -- and I've asked several times. She wants me to learn to use my coping skills...

I've heard that answer before. (it's a common question) maybe you can write your feelings down before your visit. I take a pen and a notebook for coping & take notes. It helps me stay focused
you see your therapist?

I had my session today. Didn’t take a Valium.
Spent the first half hour wittering about nothing in p...

It's about you. If you don't have a response or want to discuss something else, then do that. I know that frozen look.. and so does the T You might say, I don't have anything further to say about that. However, I would like to talk about ... I don't know if this will help you per se, but it did help me to draw the line.