Outbursts

[Woodman]

I drove down to the local DAV office a while ago like I have many a time before to ask for help with a letter that I received from the VA concerning an appeal. An appeal that the DAV told me that I should file based on facts, which I did and it's been going on for years.

Over those years I've gone to that office (over 50 miles round trip), went thru the airport type screening just to get in, walked in, filled out a form, sat down if there was a free chair and waited my turn to be called. For some reason I thought that that's the way it worked.

stupid me, sorry! they changed the system and now you need an appointment.

OK That'd be great if you had informed me of that change. ya think. I told the poor receptionist.

So I lost control and blew it right there in the lobby. I don't think they like me there anymore.

I told them angrily to forget it I'll go it alone.

So I did and I signed this form from the VA that indicated to forget the formal hearing and let my case be decided by the local VA.

The local VA inevitably came back and said "denied". yep fu buddy

So now I have this six page letter from the VA asking me a ton of questions and if I want to do this that or that.

Well now this is more complicated and after my episode at the local DAV I'm not sure if they want me to even ask for help.

How can I undo my anger outburst at the DAV? I've had these before at home and elsewhere having to always apologize. When I try to explain that I have PTSD I feel reluctant and ashamed because it seems like a stigma or something. Should I send the receptionist at the DAV a sorry card with an Baskins Robbins ice cream card? Should I just say f'it and make an appt. and see what happens? Or should I just stfu and go off into the sunset?

 

[atilla]

Make the appointment Brother. Im not a big fan of the VA, but unfortunately we have to jump through THEIR hoops to get anywhere. Ive put it off for a long time but, im going back and try to get my shite in order. Its worth it if you get the help you need and the compensation thats deserved. Never go off into the sunset bro..not untill you get what you deserve. I wish you luck Brother. "Never give up..Never surrender.

 

[atilla]

I use to have those outbursts. I havent since ive been using cannabis. Im not advocating it for everyone, but i speak for myself. Anxiety, rage, nightmares, and sleep all have improved for me with Mj. Some people get too paranoid on it, im one of those who dont. It actually lessens my hyper vigilance. My point Brother is, you have to find what works for you.:)

 

[atilla]

Remember...babysteps

 

[combatgoldfish]

Never apologize for being awesome.

Make the appointment and continue the fight as you break down any barriers they throw in your path.

 

[Grizzly]

Never apologize for being awesome.

Make the appointment and continue the fight as you break down any barriers they throw in your path.

Exactly.

Maybe you need to consider a VA disability attorney. If you do a tiny bit of homework, and find a good one they can save you a bunch of headache and heartache Brother.

You would shoot me if you heard how my claim went through.

Ugh...I just saw what state you are in. AZ...I have heard a lot of horrors about the Phoenix VA.

 

[Sludge]

I drove down to the local DAV office a while ago like I have many a time before to ask for help with a letter that I received from the VA concerning an appeal. An appeal that the DAV told me that I should file based on facts, which I did and it's been going on for years.

Over those years I've gone to that office (over 50 miles round trip), went thru the airport type screening just to get in, walked in, filled out a form, sat down if there was a free chair and waited my turn to be called. For some reason I thought that that's the way it worked.

stupid me, sorry! they changed the system and now you need an appointment.

OK That'd be great if you had informed me of that change. ya think. I told the poor receptionist.

So I lost control and blew it right there in the lobby. I don't think they like me there anymore.

I told them angrily to forget it I'll go it alone.

So I did and I signed this form from the VA that indicated to forget the formal hearing and let my case be decided by the local VA.

The local VA inevitably came back and said "denied". yep fu buddy

So now I have this six page letter from the VA asking me a ton of questions and if I want to do this that or that.

Well now this is more complicated and after my episode at the local DAV I'm not sure if they want me to even ask for help.

How can I undo my anger outburst at the DAV? I've had these before at home and elsewhere having to always apologize. When I try to explain that I have PTSD I feel reluctant and ashamed because it seems like a stigma or something. Should I send the receptionist at the DAV a sorry card with an Baskins Robbins ice cream card? Should I just say f'it and make an appt. and see what happens? Or should I just stfu and go off into the sunset?

What state are you in? When the DAV (Disabled American Veterans) advocates claims for veterans, you should only have to provide a DD214, and sign a records release and power of attorney. They take care of the rest and keep a pair of steel toed black leather waffle up the DoVA's collective asshole.

If you like, I have high level connections with the DAV here in Nebraska and could get a message sent up the chain. (The XO is in the office next to mine- we'd be drinking buddies if either of us could drink on the damned meds.)

As for your outburst, by all means, go in and apologize in person. Remember, they are 99% veterans too and they are far more understanding than you realize. Likely, they have all been there at some point or another too.

NEVER be embarrassed about the state of yourself. We have all been there, and many of us will be there again. I think, for many of us, self included, the most difficult challenge of PTSD is the frustration, self-loathing and embarrassment it causes. But, the only way to get that shit under control is to get help doing it.

Look at the bright side! That outburst only furthers the evidence of your claim!

 

[JarHed]

Good advice above.

The DAV is there to help you get what is yours to have. Like anything, you have to be a bulldog even with them. If you feel like apologizing, do so or not. Either way it's what service orgs are there for. And yeah, the security is ridiculous but you're really in a VA facility. Stay the course and don't give up on your claim. It's what they want you to do.

Jar

 

[Woodman]

Thanks for all the advice guys.I called the DAV today, tried to make an appointment and we're looking two weeks out. So I explained my side of the story to the gal that answered and she seemed to understand. So I'm faxing the documents that I rec'd from the VA and my rep (third one) is supposed to call me. Because the VA gave me until the 17th to respond and the 24th won't do. So I'll play along and see what happens. Meanwhile, I think I may look into an attorney as suggested.

 

[Sludge]

Keep yer chin up Woodman- the initial process takes time and IS frustrating as hell at points, but take it from a dude infamous for random outbusts of seething rage and long tirades of every cuss word I know in four languages. (Can't speak japanese or arabic much, but I can cuss in Saudi and Tokyo slang fairly well!)

Don't be afraid to ask here as you work along the process, most all of us are in the pipeline and can help you out from a wide variety of experiences both good and bad.

 

[JarHed]

What always seems to crack me up is that somehow these people, VA, dav, ect, forget that we're the ones with PTSD. They either don't care or don't think or both that these are exactly the situations that put our condition into warp drive. Then they get upset, it's like give me a f*ckin' break.

I've learned and gotten better at all this stuff but I can loose it in a minute. Sadly, I think I'll always be this way. As much as I try to work on my anger issues, sounds so benign, it always seems to be just around the corner. The work's never done. Sorry for the digression.

You do have to stay on their case at this point, don't worry if you're being annoying. You won't get what you need if you're not. That doesn't make you a bad person either. Stay the course and I hope it works out for ya' Woodman.

And Hey Sludge!