I relate to what albatross said about avoiding. Seeking balance. When I am over-analizing or over thinking-I am not feeling. When I have been a workaholic-I was avoiding. I was aware of doing this, so I did stop over working. I would do physical work until my body hurt and I would have alot of physical pain, which helped me avoid emotional/psychological pain. Now Im analyzing what I do. For me, its all about balance, which I haven't mastered yet. I reflect on a situation (brain like the energizer bunny) but its exhausting. I have caused myself to physically collapse between spending energy on mental and physical activity. I have not learned to rejuvenate. I need to feel my feelings-all of them regardless of how painful they may be so that I can begin to feel the pleasure and love in my life. I shut those feelings off and getting them back is a hard road. Our bodies need a refill that I think can only be achieved by fully feeling the moment. When I block feeling, I block them all. My body does not distinguish between pleasant and painful, so it avoids them all. Therefore, I am missing so much good. Its much easier to tell you what I think about something than to tell you how "I feel about it." I have temporarily avoided much grief, anger, vulnerability, distrust, hurt, guilt etc because somewhere deep down Ive been afraid that feeling these things will cause me to cease to exist. Repressing these feelings have caused me adrenal fatigue so I can no longer bury myself in physical labor like yard work, painting, and cleaning. It is very hard to change. When I have refused to get caught up in the thinking and stay with my feelings-I survived. The positive emotions are getting a bit stronger.