Overcoming Alcoholism

[cynelena]

Are there any success stories about overcoming alcoholism out there?

My BF has volunteered to get treatment, to go to group meetings, to stop drinking, to not throw away all he has. I love him so, but can not be with him if he does not at least try. He KNOWS this and why.

Is there hope? Can it be done? I only know of one person that has been successful in getting sober (16yrs sober and counting).

Please share anything positive you have. I already know 1st hand how bad it can be and what the harsh reality is if he does not/ can not stop. I buried a friend a month ago (started drinking out of no where 10 yrs ago in her late thirties), I have another that is in outpatient treatment (didn't even know she had a problem), and my ex, his mother, & his sister are all alcoholics that have drank away everything of value in their lives.

I have never felt a love like what we have and I'm on the verge of just walking away...I can NOT accept him doing nothing, but I maybe able to accept him doing something.

Serenity now!

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I have a very good friend, who came from a very similiar background as mine, and self-medicated with alcohol for years. She was definately an alcoholic. I am happy to tell you (with much pride for her) that she has now been sober for 2 years.

She had to want it though. She tried numerous other times because other people wanted her to stop and it never worked. I'm not sure what clicked in her brain - but one day she made the decision to stop. With the help of AA and a wonderful therapist she was successful.

 

[lrs]

I am a recovering alcoholic myself.
Don't sell AA short.
I have known perhaps hundreds of people who have turned their lives around by following the AA program.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I started drinking at age 15 and by the time I was in my 30's I was drunk 6 nights a week, and could hardly make it through the one day I was sober, without almost dying for a drink....

I quit, cold turkey.....It was hell, but I wanted to quit, and that is the key IMHO!!!!!!

 

[cynelena]

:Hug_emoticon:Thank you so much for sharing. It is just what I need today.

 

[teknisa]

My grandmother has been an alcoholic most of her life. She now has been sober for 10 or 12 years. It took a lot of effort from my family to get her to stop drinking. She was about 4/5 years sober back in the late 80's early 90's and then my grandpa got lung cancer and died within 6months of diagnosis. My grandma relapsed really bad. She'd call up our house and my aunt and uncles houses drunk all the time and have no idea who she was talking to. She even hallucinated that her house was on fire at 4am once and called the fire department, when they got there they found her drunk as hell and no fire. She's been in the detox center at the hospital 3 times. The last time she was there only my mother went to visit. She told grandma that if she didn't turn her life around that she would loose all of her children and no one would talk to her and she would have to fend for herself. I think that got through to my grandma cuz she stayed in detox for 3 weeks and hasn't had a drink since. She is now 75 and still kickin it.

My next door neighbors, a married couple, both had alcoholic parents and suffered abuse through out their childhood because of it. The husbands parents found solace in buddisim at a shambhala meditation center. They completely turned their lives around and stopped drinking completely.

I also know that herbal cleansing can help as well. I can recommend Nature's Sunshine product Clean Start. I use it twice a year to clean out my body of toxins and it does wonders through and through.

Good luck and remember to take it one day at a time!

much love
tek

 

[cynelena]

One day at a time it shall be. Thank you Tek!

 

[Ambush]

35 years

I have been clean and sober for 35 yrs.:smile: It takes guts, desperation, honesty, openness and willingness. I did it through a 12 step program. Read the steps, study the steps, learn the steps, work the steps, then live and become the steps.

I went for sobriety and found a GOD that could restore me to sanity.

Ambush

 

[Jagged Angel]

I haven't had a drink since 2005, and to be honest, I am not interested in alcohol any more. What I did was replace my obsession of alcohol with other, more constructive, obsessions (or addictions). These obsessions might be short-term (like obsessing over getting the money for buying a house) or more long-term (like studying a uni degree), and then again they might be something that I do every day (like looking at this forum), or only sometimes (like enjoying the world of Harry Potter).

At one point, when things got a little tough, and I would crave alcohol, I would sit down and watch episodes of Star Trek Voyager, or the Harry Potter films... simply for the fact that I would get lost in those worlds, and by the time I had finished the entire disc (4 episodes to a disc for Voyager, and 2 and a half hours for Harry), I was over the thoughts of drinking.

I now know I have better and more constructive things to do with my time... like write Harry Potter fan fiction, or play Star Wars Lego on the Wii :wink:

 

[This Ends Now]

cynelena,

I am sorry to hear that you and your boy friend are suffering from his alcoholism. It is a terrible disease to be sure.

I am still early on the path to sobriety (I do not count the days, but it has been a few weeks). I have taken up yelling back at those little voices telling me to drink. I have also started taking my medication for PTSD on a regular basis, exactly as the doctor has prescribed, and that is helping A LOT! I also moved out of the house were people would enable me to drink and into a house with people who do not tolerate substance abuse of any kind ever. I through away all the alcohol that I knew of (including the vodka bottle that I discovered today behind the water heater, and no I did not even open it). My boyfriend has stopped drinking entirely to show his support, and my friends do not drink when they are around me. I no longer work in an establishment that serves alcohol and that further reduces temptation. I have also realized that I am physiologically unable to moderate alcohol, its a genetic thing and nothing to be ashamed of, and if I return to drinking I will die a lonely horrible death.

I have mixed feelings on AA and the 12 step program. I know AA helps many many people and I am glad that it works for them. I tried AA several years ago and it backfired horribly. The meeting went something like this "Hi my name is Liz and I'm an alcoholic, I am here because I was told to come, I drink because I had a horrible childhood and hate my life, now if you will excuse me, I am walking to the bar across the street and getting plastered before I blow my brains out." I guess I just was not ready.

I was also annoyed that AA did not seem to differentiate between different types of alcohol abuse. The frat kid who sometimes gets wasted to fit in, the busy professional with a high stress job that has 3 glasses of wine every night, and the returning soldier who sits at the bar and frowns while he does shot after shot, and the hard core alcoholic that needs two liters of vodka to stop the seizures and hallucinations are all VERY different. AA fails to recognize and address these different types of alcohol abuse and the underlying psychological problems that cause the drinking. It seems to me that in many cases they are hacking at the leaves of evil while leaving the roots in tact.

The worst vice is advice, but my recommendation to you would be to examine the underlying problems that your boyfriend is trying to mask with his drinking. I would also suggest looking for the withdraw symptoms when your boyfriend stops cold turkey... if they are severe (mania, wild hallucinations, severe shaking, profuse sweating, loss of bodily functions) then he needs IMMEDIATE medical attention. If they are minor (like just some shaking and seeing spots) then it might be safe for him to detox at home. If they do not exist, then odds are he is a problem drinker rather than an alcoholic. In all three cases the problem CAN be solved, but it is important to know what you and he are dealing with so the appropriate treatment is selected.

In any of the above cases, yes there is hope. It can range from in patient detox, to prescription medications that make him vomit if he tries to drink, to out patient counseling and group support. Regardless of which option you two go with the single most important part of recovery is HIS DESIRE TO QUIT. Your love and support can help a lot, but this is HIS problem and he must be both willing and ready to recover.

Please remember to take care of yourself first in all of this. Many times alcohol can turn ordinarily sane and compassionate people into violent abusive a** holes that are a danger to themselves and others. Remember that YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO WALK AWAY. No matter what he tells you, if you believe you are in danger, LEAVE or call the cops or both.

I wish you both the best and am here for you if you ever need emotional support. I know that it can be tough on both of you, I have been on both sides of this coin (my father and uncle were both somewhere between problem drinkers and alcoholics).

Sorry for the ramble, but I still have strong emotions with regards to this issue.

Liz H.

 

[This Ends Now]

One more quick story that I just remembered. My grandfather liked to place little bets with my father. One of these bets was a $20 bet over who could go the longest without a drink. Months and months passed and my grandfather was getting bored, so he decided to spice things up. He gave my dad the option to have one drink per day, or two drinks in one day if he skipped the next day, but 3 drinks in a day or 2 drinks in one day followed by any alcohol the next day would be considered a loss. My dad lost the bet that week.