I have some expertise in neuroscience (though I am not an MD or a Ph.D). Part of my job is to be a sort of synthesizer of current research in several areas, including learning, social/emotional, effort/motivation, executive function, adhd, etc.).
A great deal of current brain research (based on functional MRIs and other high-tech things that allow researchers to measure physiological change) has demonstrated without doubt the neuroplasticity of the brain. This means that the brain absolutely CAN and DOES rewire itself given the right interventions over time. So yes, you absolutely should maintain hope, stenni. The trick, though, is finding the right interventions, and that is so very confusing for people like us because there is no magic bullet (although everyone seems to be grasping at EMDR as a magic bullet).
People with ptsd and cpsd especially get stuck in the fight or flight or freeze modes (or some ever-changing combination of the three) because we have difficulty balancing our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems (parts of the autonomic nervous system) and this problem can cause all kinds of other physiological problems. Our systems need something called homeostasis to function optimally. When our nervous system is out of balance, lots of things go wrong because of hormonal changes (like cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline, etc.). We can get nauseous, break out in sweats, shake, get overheated...any number of weird things with no apparent explanation. We cannot control these things through the mere power of thought. What we can do, though, is learn to manage our thinking about what is happening in our bodies.
See, the double-whammy is, when our physiology is out of balance (because our "reptilian brain" is stuck in trauma response), our lovely human pre-frontal cortex (the thinking/planning/analyzing/goal-setting, etc. part of the brain) goes into overdrive trying to make sense of and control our physiological experiences. This causes even more fight/flight/freeze response and sometimes (at least for me) leads into what I call the vortex or black hole that becomes a full-blown panic attack, a disabling flashback, or other combination physiological/emotional response. A bit like our brain is attacking itself.
So, the primary goal of processing any kind of stress from the regular daily stuff to massive trauma, is to stabilize--that is, to teach the body/brain what homeostasis FEELS like. There are a lot of interventions out there to help with this. I haven't found the answer yet, but they include (not an exhaustive list): mindfulness meditation; gentle trauma-sensitive yoga; most energy therapies like polarity or reiki etc.; heart rate variability training; any activity where you can be present in the moment in both body and mind...could be anything from dance to swimming to visual arts; and...any kind of total relaxation/therapeutic break from the pace and struggle of our lives--like the commercial about Malibu franciemarnie mentioned in her earlier post.
Unfortunately, (and I think I'm speaking beyond just my own experience) for those of us with cptsd who have lived our lives stuck in the fight/flight/freeze cycles, this kind of relaxation is really scary and really hard to do. It requires a sort of letting go that, at least for me, is nearly impossible except for brief moments. But if you can find even a brief moment, you know you can do it. You just need to practice...one second at a time, one breath at a time...trying to quiet all the thoughts and stories and pictures that accompany emotions and physical sensations. That's the hard part because we are so sensitized and reactive. However, it is the only way to nudge our brains into rewiring themselves.
On a more personal note, I am finding that I am really surprised when I notice myself feeling vaguely peaceful, or experience a moment of joy, or even a miserable moment that doesn't send me into flashback. It is an odd thing to notice this when I am in crisis so much of the time. And some perverse part of me doesn't think I deserve to experience these positive feelings, and some other perverse part of me tells me that if I have these feelings than the cptsd must not be real. I am trying to notice these perverse parts of me and ask them to quiet down and give me some space to feel good...however briefly. And I am trying to notice--physically, emotionally, and cognitively, what it feels like in a good moment. It feels good! I know it will not last, and that is okay...it's just part of our human condition. But these tiny little good moments are often brought about by what I'm starting to call "positive triggers." And I revisit them in my darker moments, and it helps.
Sorry for such a long post!
