Overwhelmed by PTSD Symptoms

[canucklady]

flashbacks
nightmares
thoughts
voices
feelings

just too much to deal with

 

[Josh77]

I'm listening, CL!! Want to talk about it? Please reply. Sometimes just venting helps me. I'm here if you want to talk!
Josh

 

[Nam]

hey CL. Your list is all too familiar. It's the last two that get me. The voices and the feelings (usually associated with the voices). The voice I would hear would either boss me around, or just put me down, over and over. And the weird thing is...it's not me talking. Sounds crazy I know. But I would have no idea what this voice was going to say and a few seconds later, I would be able to write it down. When you've got a voice always putting you down and there's no off switch, it's hard to keep your head up.

 

[nugget]

Dam voices at first i used to think it was the neighbours i would get up and shut the door, or raise my voice at them to shut the f--- up. Then the voices started to follow me on the train or tell me to yell at people just because their hair was messed up silly shit like that all day and night. Id hear the screeching of tyres when i was walking they would get louder as if was getting closer i was always to scared to turn around and look. I gave in and told my psychiatrist (more meds) about a month or so on meds, voices have all but gone, only hear them now when im very exhausted, in the middle of a panic attack or if a trigger sets me off. Shit thats about half my day but half is good. Cheers Rob

 

[canucklady]

keep thinking, i shouldn't have survived, i didn't deserve to survive

 

[anonymous]

I have the same thing if you want to talk...

 

[Boo-Damphir]

Here's a link to a really good book http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/books/ptsympt.htm

It talks about "survivor guilt" and does a good job of helping to understand why we suffer this.

You DO deserve to survive -

 

[canucklady]

I am finding this year harder than most for some reason. It is like all of a sudden I am realizing that this really happened and I am not ok. Have become afraid to leave the house alone. I called my counsellor to have a phone session, but she said I should come in and see her face to face. I hadn't been out of the house in 3 weeks. I know she did it for my own good, but it pissed me off that she said either you come in person, or we can't talk until January. She know that I needed to talk to her. I hate being so dependent on her and needing her to calm me down. I was going over some financial stuff the other day to claim for insurance. Between medication and therapy session I have spent at least $3,000 a year trying to recover from PTSD. It is like I am the one being punished for being the victim. I don't think I could afford going to psychologist that often next year as I won't be covered by insurance except for $500 a year (she charges $150/session) and my meds come out to about $150 a month. I am not working right now, so am feeling a little overwhelmed. I know I need therapy and meds, but I also need to pay rent, food and car. Doctor says I shouldn't be working right now until I am more stable, but I cant afford not to work. Sorry for whining so much. Not sure what to do at this point.

 

[becvan]

Yeah welcome to Canada. (drips with sarcasim) I get the same thing here. You know what? I ignore them. Nothing will pay our bills but us so I go to work. I can't even see my therapist because he only works while i"m at work. THis is a common issue. No funds to pay for all this crap, yet they keep pushing for us to do it this way. It's dumb...

Bec

 

[wildcritter44]

canucklady
sorry I missed you on chat rm, my hubby & I don't have insurance & don't work. I understand what your saying no $$, etc

 

[Deleted member 93]

CL, we cashed out retirement... we are going on over 20 grand pushing 30 in the last year and a half to treat me and I still owe more hospital bills. We are broke broke. I get it. Does not help stress.

BUT it does a lot to open here and accept help here. I have gotten more than I have paid for here for free. A lot of pain yes, but more help.

 

[cookie]

oh veiled, i thought i spent a lot of money! i have ins. but they wouldn't pay for a long time--something in the system was buggard. straightened out now, and my therapist pd. me back! you're right about this being such a valuable place here. i think it is easier to be open here, so we can start going the right way towards healing. anybody know something to help with the shakes and the startle! it is driving me nuts right now, just a big circle.
cathy