Overwhelmed

[Bookoffee]

I don’t even know where to start. We are so far in debt right now that we can’t afford our rent, car payment and insurance. We are so far behind on all three. We are about to be living on the streets. We can not take anything away to make our payments smaller or to make more money. This is such a bad time for me to have a break down and be in a hospital program.


The hospital program is helping me learn new coping skills but I am having panic attacks about going in today. Friday was the first day I shared my story and it rang in my ears all weekend long.


I feel completely out of control of my life right now. My skin is crawling, my throat is closing in and my mind won’t calm down. I am hoping that writing will help me. So far it hasn’t.


I know I have to take one step at a time and stay calm but I am completely freaking out. My wife told me not to worry about the money situation but when ever a phone call is needed because we don't have the money to pay them, she asks me to call and tell them.


I am so overwhelmed and can not calm down. I need to call the car insurance today and take my car off the insurance and see if they will set up a payment plan. The check we mailed out on Friday will bounce so I need to ask them not to cash it.


Completely freaked out right now. I hope our group therapy today is not as big as it has been. It is so hard to think with so many people.

 

[ButterflyBean]

Slow, deep breaths! Try to regulate your breathing and stay focused on just one thing. Do you have an individual therapist you can call outside of the program? Or can you pull one of the staff at the hospital aside and tell them what's going on? It sounds like you're being flooded, and you need support more than anything else right now. Gentle hugs, you can do this!

 

[Bookoffee]

I just started to see a new therapist. I had two sessions with her before she went out for three weeks for a hip replacement, now she is retiring. So I no longer have a therapist outside of the program. I can no longer pull anyone aside in the program. I need to use the resources and the group to calm down. They stated that if i don't get out of my head, I will become inpatient. I am starting to think that maybe I do need it for a med change. I can't get out of my head enough to mediate. I am so confused

 

[ButterflyBean]

Wow, that absolutely sucks! She should've never taken on new patients! I'm so sorry you feel confused, which is probably making you feel alone too; not a fun place to be at all. If you go inpatient, maybe you can get a little rest and they can refer you to a different therapist for long-term treatment. Don't push yourself to do anything you can't do. Try to be assertive about what you need! Take it one moment, one hour, one step at a time, and keep writing if it helps.

 

[Bookoffee]

Thank you @HollyBeans27 I am hoping today I will be able to take the next step forward. Trying my hardest to stay positive.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. :hug:

Do you have short term disability benefits through your work?

Also, most hospitals have case managers with resources to help people get through things like this.

If they refuse to not cash the check, you can go to the bank and cancel it outright, as long as they haven't cashed it yet.

 

[Hydrotroop91]

I am sorry to hear this! I am sending positive energy your way and prayers! Know that we are here for you! Remember to breathe!

 

[joeylittle]

I am starting to think that maybe I do need it for a med change. I can't get out of my head enough to mediate. I am so confused

If this is what your next step needs to be, it's ok - don't be afraid of it. You are actually doing an amazing job at taking care of yourself and you are being very brave.

We are so far in debt right now that we can’t afford our rent, car payment and insurance. We are so far behind on all three.

I know that this is terrifying. I really, really do. And I also know that you cannot do anything about that situation right now. I'm sorry that it needs to fall to your partner, but right now, you need to lean on that partnership. What you are doing for you is important right now. The big goal is for you to get to a place of feeling better so you can help tackle those problems.

I know that probably seems easy for me to say - but I only know it because I've heard a version of it said to me, when I was drowning in too many things at once. Sending you lots of support.