Panic Attacks And Hate In My Heart

[KatyS1987]

I've been having troubles lately where my hate for my ex husband who beat me is overwhelming and sends me into panic attacks. I've had PTSD for eight years and this just started happening three months ago. I just hate him for what he did and have this horrid hate hanging on my heart hoping he gets what's coming to him(in my version, getting hit by a bus, his ass kicked etc). I don't know how to get rid of the hate but it's literally tearing me apart. I've started DBT now but I'm only three weeks in. I'm trying to use the skills but I'm still learning. Can anyone give me useful tips on how to get rid of hatrid?

 

[SpiritFree]

Katy, you are the only one who can control that anger. I know, my brother was extremely abusive I did not think I would live over the age of 15. Now I'm in my early 50's, and I can say yes I carried a hatred for him for some years until I let go knowing he is far away from me and he can no longer physically hurt me. It is natural to have hate to those who hurt you, but do not let it EAT YOU. It eats your inner self while he does not feel it. Believe me he will get what is coming to him. My brother never apologized to me, but I have notice he has been experiencing bad luck. I believe in Karma. Be patient, it will come to him. You just focus on yourself and set some goals you want to achieve. Believe in time, you will not carry that hate but will move forward. Never forgetting what he did to you, but it will not be something you will carry in your Heart. The last time I felt hatred for my brother is when he was kicking our Black Lab Puppy. I haven't felt that hatred in years. Now as long we do not live under the same roof, I am fine. I assume your ex is no longer under the same roof as you. That is the beginning of your healing. Take it one day at a time. Please keep us posted on how your doing.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm not sure how to let it go other than to work on healing. I also think that this hatred is a natural thing. You're so early into this hatred feeling that I think any attempts to just make it go away would result in suppressing these feelings rather than processing them and letting them run their course. Have you done any processing work yet?