Paralysed By Anxiety

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

So, with anxiety meds, are they taken as and when needed?

I took one as needed at first, but then my anxiety got worse. I then tried taking a morning and nighttime dose of another med, but that wasn't enough so I was up to 2mg 3 times a day and it still wasn't working. Then, I went to a brief inpatient stay and they just gave them to me as needed and I found that it worked much better. So now for me it's an as needed basis. My only problem with that is that I often forget that they are an option. I did a longer term stay at an inpatient trauma unit and I would have to ask for the anxiety med, which I was too anxious to do most of the time. Now that I am at home, I can take them as needed without asking anyone, but I just forget they're an option. I have been getting better about remembering though and when I do, it really helps. I think everyone has to figure out what works best for themselves and it can be a bit of a process, but if you can find something that helps, it's worth it.

 

[Ocean5]

I'm not sure if it will help you, or maybe some others. I told new psychiatrist (I moved outside the US) that in the past Melissa Leaves (Lemon Balm) helped me, but couldn't find it in his country. He went to his cabinet to pull out sample pills (combo of Melissa Leaves & Valerian) to take 3 times a day. In U.S. both are just herbs you can buy in herb/supplement section. Not sure about U.K.

I was kinda shocked in a good way. In past Lemon Balm helped me a lot with anxiety, and to calm down - until several major triggers sent me spirally downhill. Sent PTSD out of control. I'm lucky I didn't end up in hospital.

 

[Ice_Fire]

That's really useful to know. I shall look into it, thank you

 

[0722]

Ice_Fire, your first post you worded it exactly how I get. I've been on and off this forum, I only come on when my anxiety is really bad, like now. I've been feeling anxious a lot lately, and I don't even know why.

 

[Friday]

To me, that's stress cup stuff. Finite capacity for stress. Too much? I either blow up, or shut down.

The fix is preventative, unfortunately/fortunately. Bleed stress off so it doesn't have the chance to build up to the point where I blow up or shut down. When it's inescapable? Simply too much life stuff? I have to ride it out, until I can lower my stress enough to whistle my brain out from under whatever piece of furniture it's slooshed itself off under.

 

[Laurie2001]

I get frozen with anxiety and it is horrible. Medication has helped a lot. Go to a good psychiatrist because there are a lot of different options.

 

[Ice_Fire]

@Laurie2001 unfortunately I'm in the uk and can't do that. Need to jump through about a million hoops via a gp and various assessments to get to a psych and then you rarely get any choice about who it is you see in the end.

@FridayJones yep it's the old stress cup.

 

[Amalia]

anxiety also causes me to have cripplig self doubt about who I am - mainly because my mind goes blank. I am known for being extremely witty, quick, bright, perceptive, but if I am around someone who triggers me the above is exactly what happens. It can happen immediately I meet them for the first time, or over weeks and months.
As well as this, and similar, then I can`t see anything at all good about my world. It has caused me to lose countless friendships, relationships. Just can`t do them. It`s a very lonely place to inhabit.

And no, here in the UK there is no help. At all. In fact when I told my gp I had contacted an assisted suicide organisation, she offered to help with the paperwork necessary to facilitate the process. It`s hopeless.

But good luck - this is no way to live - who you are, and the life you could have, is stolen.

ps the effects are so debilitating that I also can`t `do` anything. I just shut down.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I am around someone who triggers me the above is exactly what happens. It can happen immediately I meet them for the first time, or over weeks and months.
As well as this, and similar, then I can`t see anything at all good about my world. It has caused me to lose countless friendships

this is another aspect of the anxiety stuff that has affected me recently. I'm sorry this happens to you as well.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@Ice_Fire I take anti anxiety meds for as needed and i have found it really has helped me so much when I get an anxiety or panic attack. I wish you the very best in finding the solution that you feel most comfortable with soon. Stress cup filled here as well. Hang in there. Hugs.

 

[Amalia]

@Ice_Fire, I don`t know if that was meant for me but it certainly is appreciated. It`s comforting to know others get it too - I came off the site because I couldn`t stand everyone almost stuck in a masochistic rut of emotionally vomiting their experiences over everyone else repeatedly. When individuals share in this way it`s productive; thankyou.

And I`m sorry that we are all afflicted by this horrible condition in this way.
Can we narrow it down to a number of elements? :

Severe anxiety hits
Mind goes blank
crippling self-doubt sets in
Huge urge to get away from `danger` - terror
any fragile semblance of self-esteem disappears
world becomes black

This in a relationships is also compounded by intrusive thoughts that the person I am with is `bad` and going to destroy / hurt / damage me. That he is texting / seeing other women and that I am worthless - cannot see a single good thing about myself. Any self esteem just gone.

What is left is a version of myself I don`t recognise : quiet, almost mute, consumed by fear with thoughts busting their way into my head that are honestly not mine. My reality is also completed distorted and I cannot `see` situations in a realistic way.

If I stay my brain uses anything to get me out, from saying that my boyfriend doesn`t spend enough money on me (*sigh, remember this, but it`s so not me, am a hippy who doesn`t care about money - I`ve been a socialist support worker all my life) to being utterly irrational. When I look back I don`t recognise this woman. It`s not me. I don`t know who she is :(

Sound familiar - apologies for tangent x

 

[Knak]

I feel that is my life.

I'm scared my narcissistic husband will come home and manipulate me. I don't look or talk to him to avoid it, but I am dependent on him financially. I can't make phone calls - the thought of talking to people freaks me out, but if I have to I can put on an act. I have to be with people to grow and am on a lot of anxiety medication, otherwise I couldn't talk. I don't have strength to fight for my rights. I am sad and confused about avoiding my family of origin, who make me worse by their love/hate/blame feedback. I don't trust people because I don't always recognize abuse. I am paranoid and have agoraphobia.I am always late so drive way too fast to get there and home.

EMDR helps me see reality vs.fantasy and has stopped some circular thinking. I can confront others sometimes which engenders trust, but I'm not out of prison yet. EMDR is the only therapy that helps me. I've been going about 5 years. When I stop and think, all I want to do is cry which helps.

I use creativity and physical projects to distract me plus get approval, but I start too much and panic to finish because I get perfectionistic about unimportant things. I can't sit still.

I have been waiting to die since I was ten and am now 66. Now I don't want to remember anything but I write down appointments. God is the only one I trust completely but can't stop to pray and listen to Him or read the Bible. I have an audible Bible that is difficult to carry and skips around since I am always moving. I do thank God for many blessings and other Christians who care and help.

Thanks for the opportunity to express my frustration and feel the pain.