^^FlyingSolo^^
Platinum Member
Hi Deb63,
I was kind of the same with my son, kind-of over protective and very concerned about how he was treated by teachers and his friends. I was very quick to defend him when I thought others were unjust or unkind. He hated me getting involved in that way. And that did put stress on him and our relationship. Sometimes I backed off and sometimes I didn't. I was like a mama bear ready to pounce if someone looked at him the wrong way, I don't know why it just how I was. As he became an older teen I stopped doing it as much. But during the worst times when he was younger, one thing I always did, to check myself and clear the air was communicate with him! I would always have sit down talks and tell him why I do things, and I would try to have an open honest discussion at his level of understanding.
I heard somewhere years ago that kids get a good feeling of security when there is somebody "in-charge" and in control. (in a positive way, not a control freak way) That statement always ringed true to me, so I adopted it in my parenting methods. I never blurred the line about my parenting role to my son. I wanted him to feel that sense of security.
We all make mistakes as parents. It's not easy. And Deb, I really think you can repair things with your kids. Just having calm sit down talks. Or consider family therapy. :)
Best of luck to you
I was kind of the same with my son, kind-of over protective and very concerned about how he was treated by teachers and his friends. I was very quick to defend him when I thought others were unjust or unkind. He hated me getting involved in that way. And that did put stress on him and our relationship. Sometimes I backed off and sometimes I didn't. I was like a mama bear ready to pounce if someone looked at him the wrong way, I don't know why it just how I was. As he became an older teen I stopped doing it as much. But during the worst times when he was younger, one thing I always did, to check myself and clear the air was communicate with him! I would always have sit down talks and tell him why I do things, and I would try to have an open honest discussion at his level of understanding.
I heard somewhere years ago that kids get a good feeling of security when there is somebody "in-charge" and in control. (in a positive way, not a control freak way) That statement always ringed true to me, so I adopted it in my parenting methods. I never blurred the line about my parenting role to my son. I wanted him to feel that sense of security.
We all make mistakes as parents. It's not easy. And Deb, I really think you can repair things with your kids. Just having calm sit down talks. Or consider family therapy. :)
Best of luck to you
