Forgetful
Gold Member
Not sure if this belongs here or not as it encompasses many different possibilities. Mods please move it to wherever you feel it belongs
I'll try to make this short but there's no guarantee. I have always been shy and socially awkward so moving to UK when I was 12 was really hard. I survived the 4 years there despite the rape at 13 years old and getting my butt severely beat at school at 15. After that my self esteem disappeared completely (the song title "Too Low For Zero) fits nicely.
None of this was talked about for 30 years. At 19 I was DX with MDD and substance abuse. At 25 after a 3 month visit to an Army pysc hospital was DX with BPD. At 28 was DX with CFS then to complete my collection of labels was told I have PTSD and was put on med and received shock treatment 3 days a week for 8 Weeks during another 3 month stay. It helped the MDD alot.
Thanks to med I received I got the life long gift of dyskinesia. So now I'm 50, have only 3 teeth left so my faze is sunken AND I have that movement disorder that I can't control. I stay home most of the time because I am fugly to be out amongst the public. When I have to go outside I walk with my head down looking at the.ground. I'm trying to correct that, so now when I notice it I look up. I've recently made the connection between looking down with my desire to be invisible. It's like playing peek a boo with a 2 year old. If they cover their eye they can't see you logic says you can't see them
Today I was up at 4:45 because of a nightmare but I was OK and busied myself. As the it got later my nausea returned and movements got bad. All due to stress because I had to get a mammogram. It took the poor woman doing the test 3 times before she got a good one because I can't control my movements.
On the ride home my mom was almost hit sooo stress increases then movements increase then nausea. You get the picture. We stopped at 2 packed stores. I don't do crowds well, so everything increase more.
I get home, 2 year old granddaughter is there, no nap, too much energy, too much noise. Do I have to say it again? So, 7 hours later it hasn't calmed down yet.
I wrote this last night (it took an hour because of the movements). Near the end my arm went nuts and must have hit something on the phone because this post disappeared and I couldn't find it. I found it tonight. Yesterday I spent just about the whole day in the 7th.circle of hell. I only slept for 1 1/2 hours so the damn movementso are still here. Not as bad but here. I'm so tired of the whole thing
I'll try to make this short but there's no guarantee. I have always been shy and socially awkward so moving to UK when I was 12 was really hard. I survived the 4 years there despite the rape at 13 years old and getting my butt severely beat at school at 15. After that my self esteem disappeared completely (the song title "Too Low For Zero) fits nicely.
None of this was talked about for 30 years. At 19 I was DX with MDD and substance abuse. At 25 after a 3 month visit to an Army pysc hospital was DX with BPD. At 28 was DX with CFS then to complete my collection of labels was told I have PTSD and was put on med and received shock treatment 3 days a week for 8 Weeks during another 3 month stay. It helped the MDD alot.
Thanks to med I received I got the life long gift of dyskinesia. So now I'm 50, have only 3 teeth left so my faze is sunken AND I have that movement disorder that I can't control. I stay home most of the time because I am fugly to be out amongst the public. When I have to go outside I walk with my head down looking at the.ground. I'm trying to correct that, so now when I notice it I look up. I've recently made the connection between looking down with my desire to be invisible. It's like playing peek a boo with a 2 year old. If they cover their eye they can't see you logic says you can't see them
Today I was up at 4:45 because of a nightmare but I was OK and busied myself. As the it got later my nausea returned and movements got bad. All due to stress because I had to get a mammogram. It took the poor woman doing the test 3 times before she got a good one because I can't control my movements.
On the ride home my mom was almost hit sooo stress increases then movements increase then nausea. You get the picture. We stopped at 2 packed stores. I don't do crowds well, so everything increase more.
I get home, 2 year old granddaughter is there, no nap, too much energy, too much noise. Do I have to say it again? So, 7 hours later it hasn't calmed down yet.
I wrote this last night (it took an hour because of the movements). Near the end my arm went nuts and must have hit something on the phone because this post disappeared and I couldn't find it. I found it tonight. Yesterday I spent just about the whole day in the 7th.circle of hell. I only slept for 1 1/2 hours so the damn movementso are still here. Not as bad but here. I'm so tired of the whole thing
