Sexual Assault Passed out drunk assault ...

[Paula29xo]

Had a party at mine one night.. This is going back a few years ago now.. My boyfriend at the time&his mates were round.. We was all having a few drinks&took some coke but we was having a good night.. I felt really drunk&tired so I went to bed.. I kept drifting in&out of sleep&I kept seeing shadows.. Thought nothing of it.. So I woke up in the morning & I'm not wearing my trousers or knickers&I felt disgusting&sick.. I had no idea what had happened or what had gone on.. But I went to bed with my trousers on.. I just felt in shock all day&I couldn't eat or bring myself to do anything.. Recently last year I met a lad I was seeing&he kept saying to me.. It looks like you have the world on your shoulders.. I broke down&told him.. I hardly knew this guy..But he said I was brave&it was a step into me coming out wit the truth.. I have flashbacks of shadows over me.. I am scared&Its my own fault for getting too drunk&doing drugs.. I knew back then if I had reported it.. I get laughed at in court&yes I be to blame because of the drugs etc.. Still haven't said anything to anyone&this is the first time I've been on a forum speaking about this till now.. 10years it has taken me..

 

[Sweetleaf]

Wow, 10 years is a long time - I'm sorry that you have had to deal with all this for so long. What you should definitely do is see a trauma-specialized therapist about this. I know it's hard to talk to people about it, but they can help you with this.

It's also not your fault you were sexually assaulted - I know first hand, that it's hard to tell yourself it's not your fault. For all you know, one of your drinks was altered by one of them. On top of this, getting blackout drunk isn't the same as letting it happen. Someone took advantage of your physical state - it's on -them- that this happened, not on you.

 

[Swift]

No matter what you did or didn't do, the assault was. Not. Your. Fault.
Definitely try some therapy if you're able to.

 

[Paula29xo]

Thank you all.. I have nightmares too that I'm being pushed down by a shadow.. I see shadows all the time.. It's scary.. My now boyfriend says I scream in my sleep saying "Get off me" he gets worried.. I have told him.. once&I got worried.. So scared he would leave me.. He' a lovely guy&always tells me I am not too blame.. He hugs me to sleep so he knows that I can be safe.. I just don't get how anyone can do this to someone..