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People Who Want To Live, Do What?

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I don't "love myself" but fortunately I've found some 'bypass' where I love to do that a.

So this brings me to another point. I know it's easier said than done, but to try to see yourself as others see you. I absolutely am aware that this is a huge part of PTSD though. But many who cannot love themselves are, in fact, loved at least to some degree, by others.

(((HUG)))

ISH

This is meant as a general statement, not picking on Junebug
 
Helping others.

Not to see others as unfortunate and to place yourself above them but to just do something to help others without any expectation of return. Other than to know you helped. This can be volunterring or simply helping someone with a kind word here.

Most of you know that I really struggled to get back in the car and drive. I've been a volunteer driver for a local scheme since 1995.

Once I could make short journeys, I told them I was ready to drive for them again. This was a win, win situation. I was doing the drives I needed to do and helping others as well. It was a great boost to my confidence and it still is.
 
So this brings me to another point. I know it's easier said than done, but to try to see yourself as others see you. I absolutely am aware that this is a huge part of PTSD though. But many who cannot love themselves are, in fact, loved at least to some degree, by others.

So true. During one therapy session, I was being really hard on myself and using very negative expressions. My T stopped me and asked if one of my daughters came and said they felt as I did, would I be so hard on them. Of course not, I replied. I would hold them, hug them and look at ways to help. T just looked at me and asked well why should I not expect the same. It is hard to do but I am being a lot kinder to myself (most of the time) and I feel better because of it.
 
I have a book in which I write daily. I call it my 'happy book'. In it I list everything that has made me happy, pleased about or grateful for. A lot are family, dog related, but also simple things, seeing a poppy field in bloom, watching the stars come out, music or a glass of wine with H.

T suggested I do this, I started it in Jan and have almost filled my first book. I have another ready to write in. T told me to buy a nice book, something I would like. My first book has a Winnie the Pooh theme, on the cover is a picture of Eeyore and the saying 'some days just don't let you stay grumpy'. It seemed so apt at the time. My next book has butterflies on and in it. I think it is quite symbolic as therapy is coming to an end and I see myself as being free like a butterfly.

I can see my 'happy book' becoming a lifetime ritual and I can almost visualise my girls reading them and laughing at some of the daft stuff which made me smile.
 
PTSD to me is almost like a mirror, or being 'spongy', I seem to absorb whatever the people and environment are around me: negative becomes negative, hopeful becomes hopeful, mistrust the same etc etc.

So though no one can control how others feel and react, we can control to some degree who we're around or where we go. I don't mean avoidance but recognition of what I'm able to handle.
-Ditto for thoughts, what I read or hear can triggers meltdowns.
 
If I had to narrow down a single purpose in my life, it's to raise my two sons to be secure, well-rounded, and emotionally grounded men.
 
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