Physical Scars

[allitherapy]

Does anyone else have physical scars that remind them of their trauma? I have scars that I hadn't looked at for years and I finally have. It gets a little easier the more I see them, but they are on a personal area and it's extremely difficult to see them every day. How do you deal with having constant physical reminders of your trauma?

 

[intothelight]

Hi Alli,

I have missing teeth, places where broken bones never mended properly, and the scars I have inflicted upon myself.

But it is not the physical that bother me, it is the wounds to my heart, soul, and mind that are not yet healed and scarred.

Deb

 

[femaleveteran]

I ahe an ongoing physical problem. I also have a tendencie at cutting and this makes me feel I am punishing myself for allowing the trauma to occur.

 

[Darkness Shines]

I have a lot of scars, though the worst were self-inflicted. I suppose I try to look at them as reminders--of what others are capable of, and of what I'm capable of doing to myself. Warnings against getting that sick again, or of ever letting down my guard against all the evil people in the world. The scars don't send me into flashbacks or anything, so I guess I'm just kind of used to them and don't dwell on it too much most days.

 

[Jade-]

I have some scars....one on my neck, one on my stomach and some in other places. I don't really pay much attention to them, but I do have times that when I see them I start remembering, having flashbacks and obsess about it all.

 

[Nighthawk]

I have a scare were I got shot and I don't look at it too often but at times I feel the burn on my scare almost the same feeling of when I got shot. The physical scare is a reminder and does bring back flashbacks but no were near as many as my mind goes to on its own.

NH

 

[Tinyflame]

I never considered them either way, except for inevitable consequences of some traumas/ life experiences, 'more of the same', if you will, and sort of a confirmation of sorts of the inside to the outside. Like ITL said, even worse on the inside and also b/c to me at least on the outside someone is fore-warned what is 'there'. (Mind you, I have a lot of mileage on me ;))

But once I heard someone say that when they questioned Alexander Solzhenitsyn about what gave him the authority to speak on the issues he did, including man's treatment of his fellow man, the existence of God, hope, and survival, (after his imprisonment and exile) that he pointed to the scars on his ankles from the chains.

 

[allitherapy]

I guess what's hard for me is the location of this particular one. I have other scars in other places, but only this one really bothers me. None of them are self-inflicted, so that may be a difference too. It's hard to know that such a private part of me has been made ugly by a psychotic knife-wielding jerk.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think anyone who loves you allitherapy won't view your scar as you do. If anything it's proof you survived and that's anything but superficial in meaning, right?
(((Hugs)))

 

[femaleveteran]

I guess I just viewed it as a relef of stress. I never cut where I have to let anyone else see. Maybe one day that will change but I strongly suggest you try thinking,logically, about where you are cutting before you do....although I knw in the heat of the moment it is not always easiest. i justhave made a niche in my life where I pay very close attention and I just try not to let it get to the point of self-harm. It is NOT always easiest. I have cut on my neck, and my arms are a mess as is my stomach. I am not making an excuse.

It was the absolutest stupid thing I could have done. The person/people causing my trama do not give a damn about doing so so why should I cotinually punish myself.

 

[tch75]

I have a scar half a cm. under my left eye from when I was shot in the face when I was14. Have to look at it every time I look in the mirror. The bullet is still inside, only bugs me when it's really cold outside..

 

[Jade-]

It's hard to know that such a private part of me has been made ugly.

I totally relate and understand. I ended up having numerous surgeries and have many scars. My husband doesn't seem to mind though...and that's all that matters to me. Anyone that loves you isn't going to care.