I guess that you’re answering your own question here.My gut says keep the appointment and stop stalling out of guilt, fear and low self esteem.
I'm sorry you understand elements of what that experience was like. Why on earth did your mother believe you were a psychopath? I have always been a tomboy. I don't know if I ever wanted to be a man per se but I don't act feminine very much. Except wanting to watch stuff that makes me cry, can't get out of how cleansing that sort of thing can be.I’m sorry it’s like this with your mother. Parents are f*cking complicated. With my mom it’s okay but with the father it’s a nightmare. But basically both left me completely floating without any explanation, they were way too busy getting on their f*cked up problems. I was alone all the time. Very different situation. But still there is a part of that relates to your experience. It’s upsetting to see that it’s when your getting power over her it’s when she tames down. Shows that the entire thing was a power play since the beginning, even if they aren’t aware of it. And power plays have no room in good relationships.
My mum is my friend but I don’t think she’s emotionally safe. She certainly is much more than before. In my teens she was persuaded I was a psychopath, see. And saying it. Father also had weird ideas of what women were and what I based my judgements on have been women in TV shows or books. Because of that absence of definition. It’s painful. I didn’t even feel like a woman. Around 19-20, I really wished I was a man.
Thoughts for you in the Mother’s Day. It’s also yours!
I've heard of that the book but have not read It. My first instinct hearing you say that is to say that I can actually be pretty selfish. I got fleas from my mother. But at the same time I can definitely put up with more than I should.