Please Help Me...

[Deleted member 1860]

When I got into meditation a couple of years back I also got into some new age things without realising it and weird stuff started to happen, that's why I am against it.

What kinds of weird stuff?

The truth is, I had to practice meditation for NINE MONTHS before it worked for me. Its like this for many people. Gotta practice, practice, practice before something works.

And maybe you weren't doing the right kind of mediation? Meditation is meant to ground us, to center us, to calm us. What effects were you feeling?

As for medication every SSRI I have ever read about sounds lethal.

Cyanide is lethal. SSRI's aren't lethal. Yes, some *do* have unwanted side effects, but many people find them helpful. SSRI's are only one category of medication. I've never found them to be helpful, myself. (My seratonin/norepinephrine levels are fine.) I've found more relief with antipsychotics and anxiety medications. There are also mood stabilizers, etc.

 

[Matt1055]

Yeah. Can anyone identify what it's like when even your kids are not enough? Like they're better off alone?!?

Gawd, I love the boy with all my heart, but it can get so f*****g dark.

Cal

Tonight my wife and I had a blazing row. She told me to grow up and stop being a baby, and th...

Tonight my wife and I had a blazing row. She told me to grow up and stop being a baby, and th...

Do you ever think that the problems we are least equipped to deal with are those we are facing?!?
Reading some of the posts on myptsd, reading over some of my own, listening to my teenager rant, life is PAIN-ful.

Yet, those of us who have served, we wind up seeing things we maybe shouldn't. Hurts like hell, don't it?

I hope it brings you some hope, but don't stop reaching out, forcefully at times. people can sometimes poo-poo the VA, but I have found more support there than anywhere else. f****** use it.

Cal

 

[Matt1055]

I've been there. I think so many people have.

Now, when my mind wanders to suicide, I try...

Thanx. I want you to know the words you said helped me on a real bad day.

Cal

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

I think your wife needs to gain some knowledge on how to deal with a sufferer of someone with Ptsd , it's probably not easy for her to fully understand how your feeling, therefore it's easier for her to lash out at you, she's probably finding it very difficult too. Suicide is not the answer although when one is that low it can seem to be the only way out, I would consider medication if your feeling suicidal just something to pick you up s little and calm the situation a little. It's not easy being a sufferer but I don't think it's easy to live with one unless there is a good understanding of how to deal with it. I know from experience , I've put my husband through hell in the past and when we started being open and honest with each other it really helped him to understand what I was going through, I also suggested for him to attend one of my sessions with my t for him to have some more understanding , obviously this doesn't work for everyone but it's an option. I hope you both recieve the support you need

 

[Matt1055]

Hey, HGLL-

How are you?

As another vet "in need", I'm right there with ya'. I wanted to "off my head!" yesterday. Doing better today. Your words helped me. Thx.

I'm here again. No joy, no hope. WTF?!?

 

[Leah Morgan]

Hey, HGLL-

How are you?

As another vet "in need", I'm right there with ya'. I wanted to "off my he...

I hope you both have a better day today. Sending my best wishes. Be kind to yourselves you do deserve it. X

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

How are you today? Hope your suicidal thoughts have been eliminated or somewhat reduced ? Thinking of u x

 

[Mallaky]

@HighGeniusLowLoser
Yeah, I can sympathize entirely. Was in a similar spot not too many months ago.

First I need to say that your thinking about medication is distorted. One bad experience does not mean every other will be bad. Also: Very often medication is just used for a while, to get to a better place. Like anti-biotics. They are not great for you, and should be used carefully. Also: There is literally not a single substance on earth that is not deadly if used foolishly. Including water and air.

Also: Why are you even talking about medication? Do you have a therapist who wants to give you something? Does not sound like it. Do you have professionell help in any way? What is your situation with that? Have you ever gotten trained in meditation by a professionell? You seem to be shooting at birds that havent hatched yet. You need to start at the beginning.


You seem to be winging it, tumbling from day to day in the hope that it gets better.

That will not work.

Just as you cannot throw stones blindly around in the hope of getting shelter for the night, you need a plan, you need a system. In that metaphor a therapist would be an architect, helping you design and plan the right course of action.

Things can get better, much better, and I could be considered living proof of that. The first time I tried to commit suicide I was about 16 years old. My brother killed himself beforeI could and that tought me the futility of ending ones life. I am very happy now, life a good life, but only since I live smartly. Learning about what was going on, planning how to improve and then sticking with that plan come hell or high water. Getting help from people who know what they are doing. My road to living a life worth living was admitting I was completely out of controll of life and myself, and then - ever so slowly - getting it back.