I havnt posted much on this forum, but I do have a diagnosis of PTSD and have had for some time now.
As many of you know, i was n the earthquake last week here in CA
Well... actually there was much more to the week that ive only just managed to post about.
On saturday night, there was a shooting right outside my apartment.. about 15 metres approx to where I was sleeping.
I woke up to the gunshots.. and 2 girls screaming. One of them sounded like a child to me ..but it was just the way she was crying and screaming.
It also woke my room mate up .. who tried to go over to the window.. at this poiing i didnt know it was 15 metres away .. i thought it was right outside my window it was so loud.. so my instincts kicked in
I pulled her to the floor .. and told her not to move or say a word (haev agap in my blindes and didnt want them seeing us) .. we laid there on the floor for some time . she tried to get up again .. (there were more gunshots and scremaing) .. i pulled her back down and put my hand over her mouth.
A few minutes later.. cops showed up .. no sirens.. but heard the radios.. i let her up .. she looked out and there was a group of people on the street she said.
nobody was killed or seriously injred.. though I d know one of the girls was on the floor cause the other was screaming :RUN GET UP RUN COME ON WE HAVE TO RUN THEY ARE GOING TO KILL US"
anyway over this week, my anxiety levels have been much higher. I was already having problems with my sleep and the PTSD .. this has made it a whole lot worse.. an earthquake and shooting in 1 week.
I have been afraid at night of walking around in my apartment because im afraid im going to get hit by a stray bullet. 2 night ago i saw a car pull up outside and nobody got out for ages.. i laid on my floor .. unable to move ot of fear of getting shot.
Im just very afraid right now. Last night .. I had nightmares of gangsters outside my windows with machine guns shooting at me, i also had a machine gun and was shooting it everywhere.. smashing all the windows.. trying to save my life... i kept waking up .. but falling back asleep and dreaming the same thing again.
When i saw my therapist on monday 2 days after this shooting .. I wasnt so bad.. maybe i was still in shoock ? but like i say .. over the week its got worse.
Im just afraid right now, and just in need of someone somewhere out there... hearing me out.
what a week.
As many of you know, i was n the earthquake last week here in CA
Well... actually there was much more to the week that ive only just managed to post about.
On saturday night, there was a shooting right outside my apartment.. about 15 metres approx to where I was sleeping.
I woke up to the gunshots.. and 2 girls screaming. One of them sounded like a child to me ..but it was just the way she was crying and screaming.
It also woke my room mate up .. who tried to go over to the window.. at this poiing i didnt know it was 15 metres away .. i thought it was right outside my window it was so loud.. so my instincts kicked in
I pulled her to the floor .. and told her not to move or say a word (haev agap in my blindes and didnt want them seeing us) .. we laid there on the floor for some time . she tried to get up again .. (there were more gunshots and scremaing) .. i pulled her back down and put my hand over her mouth.
A few minutes later.. cops showed up .. no sirens.. but heard the radios.. i let her up .. she looked out and there was a group of people on the street she said.
nobody was killed or seriously injred.. though I d know one of the girls was on the floor cause the other was screaming :RUN GET UP RUN COME ON WE HAVE TO RUN THEY ARE GOING TO KILL US"
anyway over this week, my anxiety levels have been much higher. I was already having problems with my sleep and the PTSD .. this has made it a whole lot worse.. an earthquake and shooting in 1 week.
I have been afraid at night of walking around in my apartment because im afraid im going to get hit by a stray bullet. 2 night ago i saw a car pull up outside and nobody got out for ages.. i laid on my floor .. unable to move ot of fear of getting shot.
Im just very afraid right now. Last night .. I had nightmares of gangsters outside my windows with machine guns shooting at me, i also had a machine gun and was shooting it everywhere.. smashing all the windows.. trying to save my life... i kept waking up .. but falling back asleep and dreaming the same thing again.
When i saw my therapist on monday 2 days after this shooting .. I wasnt so bad.. maybe i was still in shoock ? but like i say .. over the week its got worse.
Im just afraid right now, and just in need of someone somewhere out there... hearing me out.
what a week.
